My Picasso
by Brooks
Summary: Life is just a painting. Although when life is done, you step back to look at your painting, you find what you don't expect. I didn't expect things on my picture, but I've found that I've created something as beautful a Picasso Picture.
1. Prolouge

**Disclaimer:** I do not own any of the Harry Potter things that you see below. The only thing that I personally own is the plot. Maybe some extra characters too…let's just say that anything you don't recognize as the brilliant writing of J.K. Rowling is mine. If there are any questions just leave them in a review. :)

**It's easier to run, replacing this pain with something numb  
it's so much easier to go than face all this pain here all alone**

Although I never took anyone's advice about running away, I wish now that I had. Now, here I am, one of the people explaining that problems will only snowball and get worse over time. Who would have thought?

But things change so fast, one minute you are on top of the world, the next you are slamming into the ground causing you to lose all control. It's crazy. You have no way to adapt to the new way of life before it changes again.

So in theory, running away from a problem is just craziness. Over time the problem will go away or change into something else. Better or worse, who knows? But maybe running away is the solution. Maybe there is no way to fix it. That is everyone's worst nightmare isn't it? Having a huge dilemma and having no way around it. Can't go over it, can't go under it, must go through it kind of dilemma.

But another thing that I have also learned the hard way is that all of these dilemmas build who we are. What doesn't kill us makes us stronger, right? Yes, I believe so. Life is a painting. Every step you take is a stoke of the brush. Every move you make is another color adding to the master-piece. All of the dilemmas we have come across are noted on the painting.

Every life has a different painting. I'm sure, for instance, that my good friend Harry has a painting full of confusing colors and clashes representing dark times and inner turmoil. People who are not art experts would say that it was nothing more than a painting to be hung in a café on the corner street. But experts would all agree that the artist who painted it has an excellent inner eye for beauty. The painting matches the way of life.

But then again, sometimes the paintings of your life can surprise you. You see something in a new light and realize that it had a positive influence on you instead of negative. You see that what you thought was a nice thing twisted into the ugly color of black, leaving a streak forever etched across your painting. Be that as it may, it is unique and wonderful.

It is a Picasso.

**Something has been taken from deep inside of me  
A secret I've got locked away, no one can ever see  
Wounds so deep they never show, they never go away  
Like moving pictures in my head, for years and years they've played... **

Deep under the top layer of the painting there is a hidden meaning. Maybe something was covered up in your life-time. A horrible lie, a deceiving lover, or maybe just a broken lamp you hid from your mother. But it comes out clearly in the painting if you look hard enough. Something you hid from the world, something painful and enduring is now in plain sight. But however much pain it causes you, it feels better to have it out in the open.

**If I could change, I would, Take back the pain, I would  
Retrace every wrong move that I made, I would  
If I could stand up and take the blame, I would  
If I could take all the shame to the grave, I would  
If I could change, I would, Take back the pain, I would  
Retrace every wrong move that I made, I would **

**If I could stand up and take the blame, I would  
If I could take all the shame to the grave...**

**Sometimes I remember the darkness of my past  
Bringing back these memories I wish I didn't have  
Sometimes I think of letting go and never looking back  
And never moving forward so there'd never be a past...**

Even though the pain comes back looking at the picture it somehow comforts you now that you don't have to worry about it. When life is over and you see the painting you have made you may want to erase some of the hidden secrets or the horrible times. But even if you did…

**It's easier to run, replacing this pain with something good  
It's so much easier to go than face all this pain here all alone  
It's easier to run...  
If I could change, I would  
Take back the pain, I would  
Retrace every wrong move that I made...  
It's easier to go...  
If I could change, I would  
Take back the pain, I would  
Retrace every wrong move that I made, I would  
If I could stand up and take the blame, I would  
If I could take all the shame to the grave...**

...in the end, it doesn't even matter.


	2. Bring Me To Life

**Disclaimer:** Again, I own nothing but the plot.

It had begun the beginning of seventh year.

Everything was the same. I'd owled Harry and Ron over vacation and we talked without a care in the world. I went on Holiday with my parents. The greatest most wonderful time I had had in such a long time. And the last good time I would have for a long while.

As usual I had met Harry and Ron at Platform 9 ¾ . It was a wonderful day out. I had just stepped out of the barrier, pulling my hair out of my face when I heard both of the wonderful voices that I had wanted to hear.

"Hermione!" Ron and Harry shouted together.

I turned to see both of them sitting in a compartment on the train, leaning out the window to wave. Harry's black hair blew slightly in the wind exposing his lightning bolt scar that he was so cruelly famous for. Right next to him was Ron. His height stuck out as he kneeled down to look out the window. I smiled at them and put up a finger saying that I'd be there in a minute.

My first stop was the luggage compartment. I had a hay day with that one. Pulling, pushing, and shoving my luggage that weighed more than me in the direction of the luggage compartment. I was not out of shape but I wasn't the strong person that Harry or Ron was. It took all I had to finally get it there.

But as I approached the compartment my mood took a sudden turn. Of all the people I could have seen there I had to see the one that I hated the most. The one that I hated with a passion.

I knew of course that I had to see him sooner or later, but I would have preferred the later. He was the reason I had a rotten summer, the reason I was lying to my friends, the reason I would never be the same. There were so many reasons why I hated him. And I knew that he returned the favor.

I slammed the luggage down and turned to leave before I could say or do anything rash. Although it may have been rash, I know that it would have made me feel a little better. I now understood how Harry felt all through his life. Harry and I both hated Voldemort, but he had more of a history with him. I hated this _man, _dare you call him that, and Harry hated him also, but I had more of a history with him.

I ran onto the train, bumping into people as I went. I could taste the bile forming in my mouth, the pain squeezing my chest, the tears forming in my eyes, and the scream rising in my throat. I needed to get away from it all. I needed a large pillow and a book. Having neither I decided to run toward anything that provided solitude.

It seems that whenever you need something the most it is hardest to find. The bathrooms were taken. All the compartments I could tell were full of people talking about the wonderful summers, enjoying the ride to Hogwarts. I wish I could have been one of them.

Finding an empty compartment toward the end of the train I opened the door and slammed it behind me. I threw every locking charm I knew at the door and it cracked under the pressure. However much it cracked though, it didn't break. It was locked securely shut before I fell unto a seat and sobbed.

I didn't hold back. I hadn't cried for a long time and all the emotions that I had felt between a couple weeks ago and now came pouring out in my tears. If I had had more emotions bubbling inside me I would have burst from it. Spontaneous combustion I now know is a possibility to the human body. I cried because I was angry, sad, lonely, anxious, nervous, and most of all scared. I cried for what I had, lost, or would never get.

When I was drained of energy and tears I sat up from my fetal position and rubbed my eyes with my sleeve. I had been crying for well over an hour and the train had already started to move. The setting sun outside made me guess that it was around six o'clock and about time for dinner. My rumbling stomach agreed with me. I decided that Harry and Ron were most likely looking for me and I got up to sneak back into their compartment.

But wouldn't you know that the instant I composed myself I feel the need to cry all over again. The second after the last syllable of my cleaning spell was uttered the door swung open with a bang. I knew someone was there because they had heard me crying. Why else would people choose to come to an almost empty compartment?

"Listen, I don't want to talk about it ok?" I sighed, turning to the person who had entered. I had thought that it was Harry or Ron or maybe even Luna but no. The person standing before me had the evil little smirk on his face and the icy blue eyes to match.

"Well, that's good because I don't want to talk to you," Malfoy spat.

"What do you want, Malfoy?" I asked. I was taking deep relaxing breaths and trying hard not to imagine him stuck to the wall with a curse that I had thrown at him. It didn't seem to be helping though because my blood was already boiling.

"I just thought there was a damsel in distress. I was coming to rescue her. Everyone can hear you crying." he said lazily looking at his nails and picking some 'dirt' from under them. I knew there was nothing there because, thankfully, Malfoy liked to have a very high hygiene status.

"Just let me out," I said trying to push my way past him. I couldn't bear to look at him now.

"Are you sure you don't want to talk about it?" He asked in a whisper. He took hold of my arm and store into my eyes almost like a normal, caring person. His blue eyes were still sharp and cold, but they didn't seem to be as cold as I thought they were. "Because I'm sure you do." He added. I had barely heard his last comment and it made the breath catch in my throat.

**How can you see into my eyes  
like open doors?  
Leading you down into my core  
where I've become so numb.  
Without a soul  
my spirit's sleeping somewhere cold  
until you find it there and lead it back home.**

I had no idea how to respond. Malfoy had never talked to me with out insulting me. Now here he was willingly offering me some help. It felt so out of place that it almost seemed normal. How was I supposed to respond? 'Yes, Malfoy, I do need help. Since you don't talk to me anyway I can spill it all to you.' Or 'No, Malfoy of all the low down scum, I would never say anything civil or share something of importance to you!'

I should have gone with the former.

**Wake me up.  
Wake me up inside.  
I can't wake up.  
Wake me up inside.  
Save me.  
Call my name and save me from the dark.   
Wake me up.  
Bid my blood to run.  
I can't wake up.  
Before I come undone.  
Save me.  
Save me from the nothing I've become**

"You're right. I do." I said sitting down on one of the seats next to the window. He plopped down on the seat across from me and sat quietly. Maybe he had changed over the summer…I know I had.

How could I be saying that? With everything that's happened this year alone I know I'm confused, but Malfoy is still Malfoy. He will always be the horrible little snot that ruined my first year at Hogwarts. He will always be the one who makes my best friends life a living hell. How can I possible sit here and think that he isn't that bad?

"So, what happened over summer vacation," he began, trying not to look my in the eye.

"That's not what I wanted to talk about." I said. He snapped his eyes in my direction, raising an eyebrow in question.

"Then what did you want to talk about?" he asked getting his annoyed look again.

"I wanted to talk to you about our Head Boy and Head Girl duties." I lied. I wanted to talk about it, I really did. But I realized that I wasn't ready to. Especially not with Malfoy.

Malfoy snorted and leaned back in his chair crossing his arms over his chest so that I couldn't see his Slytherin badge anymore. His face was emotionless, set into a plain glazed over look. I too sank back into the chair already feeling guilty about lying to him.

**Now that I know what I'm without  
you can't just leave me.  
Breathe into me and make me real  
Bring me to life.**

"I doubt that's what you wanted to talk about." he said pouting a little.

"I do too." I said under my breath, so he wouldn't hear me. "It is." I said louder facing him. Two lies within one minute. What was I becoming? I could already feel the guilt build up on me. I never lied and was not use to the concept.

"Then why were you crying?" he asked a small sneer growing on his lips.

I was stumped. I couldn't think of a lie. This was probably a good thing. One less lie to have to worry about later.

While I sat in my stupor Malfoy had smiled slightly. Not a sneer or a scowl but an actual smile. The kind of smile that no one ever got to see but loved to see on the rare occasion they did. It was a smile that seemed so foreign to me. His teeth showed slightly and laugh lines actually appeared around his eyes making them look like sparkling diamonds rather than piercing ice pools.

He stood and started to leave the compartment. His hand was resting on the cold steel of the handle when he turned to look me square in the eyes. "If you ever need to talk about it, Granger," he said.

"Are you offering me an invitation to talk to you?" I asked raising my eyebrows. That was the shock of the century. Malfoy, inviting me to talk. Almost sounded like inviting me to tea and crumpets. I would have been less shocked if the Queen of England had invited me to talk.

"Only because as Head Boy and Girl we need to be friends or look like we're friends. I can't have my reputation go down the drain for being the worst Head Boy ever now can I?" he said before quickly exiting.

It was a good thing he left before I could have said something too. Just when you think you can start to trust a person they turn around and say something like that. The world was such a deceiving place it's hard to know when to trust and when to turn you back.

But no matter how hard I thought about what was said or done, nothing added up to the typical stereotypical image I had in my mind about Malfoy. The Malfoy I knew would not have come to my compartment, even if there was a damsel in distress. Malfoy would just make fun of the person for having emotion and feelings and leave it at that. Then why did he suddenly come to chat? That didn't seem like Malfoy at all. First he was almost nice then he turns and becomes the Dragon I had thought him to be? Something was wrong. I could feel it. I was going to find out what was wrong too.

**All of this sight  
I can't believe I couldn't see  
Kept in the dark  
but you were there in front of me **

Tomorrow I would find out what was different.

**I've been sleeping a 1000 years it seems.  
I've got to open my eyes to everything.**

Without a thought  
Without a voice  
Without a soul

Don't let me die here  
There must be something wrong.  
Bring me to life.

**Bring me to life.  
I've been living a lie  
There's nothing inside.**

Bring me to life


	3. One Thing

**Disclaimer:** Incidentally, last night Little Bunny Foo-Foo came and bopped me on the head and I am now magically the owner of everything Harry Potter. If you believed that….you might be a red neck…

**Restless tonight   
Cause I wasted the light  
Between both these times  
I drew a really thin line  
**

I sprinted down the deserted Charms hallway trying desperately to get to Dumbledore's office before the meeting was over. Glancing at my watch for a split second I realized that I was now eighteen minutes late. Cursing under my breath I urged myself forward.

I was beginning to worry myself. I was now procrastinating, running late on occasion, and even forgetting to do my assignments the day they were first mentioned. I was slowly slipping into a black hole that I had created for myself.

Someone was bound to notice sometime. Professor McGonagal was already shooting me curious glances during class. She at least noticed that I wasn't taking the usual feverish notes that I usually did. I did my notes only halfheartedly.

As usual the way I wanted things to turn out and the way they did turn out were two entirely different things. In fact someone did notice that I was slipping into despair. Not someone that I cared deeply about or anything but something that surprised me.

A loud clunk sounded somewhere behind me and I turned to investigate. Somehow or another my defense against the dark arts book had fallen out of my pack, along with my favorite quill and most expensive ink. Turning around I gathered up my stuff and wondered how it had fallen out.

Sometime between lunch and care of magical creatures I had gotten a hole in my pack. 'Just great,' I thought. 'Another thing to put on my to-do list.'

"Excuse me," I heard the voice say. I looked up from my bag and saw no one. Standing up slowly, I turned around to find that no one was in that direction either. Doing a complete circle looking for the source of the voice I still found no one there.

"Ah, I'm losing it," I said, smoothing out my robes and glancing at my watch again. Twenty one minutes late.

"Excuse me!" The voice repeated growing impatient. This time I listened for the direction of the voice and turned toward the wall.

"Oh," I said. What was I supposed to say? This didn't happen all the time. "Do you need something?" I asked trying to sound like paintings randomly talked to me all the time.

The girl in the painting smiled down at me. She was very pretty. I guessed that her age was around seventeen or so. My age. She had long silvery blonde hair that flowed in curls down to her waist. She was very well kept and had a neatly pressed uniform. I noticed that she proudly wore a Slytherin badge on her left breast pocket.

I then noticed that there was another occupant in the painting. A boy, around the same age as me and the girl, stood there also. He had brown hair plastered haphazardly on his head. He was very tall and very well kept too. His hands were resting in his pockets and he looked around the painting looking rather bored. I noticed that he, unlike the girl, had a Gryffindor badge on his uniform.

"Yes," the girl answered smiling. "Are you Hermione Granger?"

"Um, well, yes I am." Another glance at my watch. Twenty three minutes now. "Is there something that you need, because I'm in a hurry, I'm late for a meeting."

The girl nodded her head slightly. "No need to hurry. You are not late for the meeting." I stared at her for a moment. She laughed and continued. "Dumbledore told me to tell you that the meeting has been canceled for now. He said that there was a matter with misbehaving children that he had to tend to. He also said that he's sorry for any inconvenience."

"Oh." I replied feeling increasingly stupid. The girl walked over to a bookshelf toward the left part of the frame and busied herself into alphabetizing the books there. The boy smiled an all too familiar sneer and said in a slow drawly voice so foreign to Gryffindors, "There is also another message."

I didn't say anything. I waited patiently for him to continue. "There is?" the girl asked coming over to the boy and placing a hand lightly on his shoulder. He looked at her hand for a moment and then continued, "Yes, from a Mr. Malfoy."

I exhaled a breath I didn't know I was holding in. "What does_ he_ want?" I asked rolling my eyes.

"He wants to meet you in the library. He said it was something about duty arrangements."

"Arrangements? Isn't Dumbledore supposed to arrange all of the duty times?" I asked more to myself than to them. "Strange."

"Apparently he met with Dumbledore. _He_ was early for the meeting," The boy said smirking. How can a kid like this end up in Gryffindor? I wondered.

I would have said something, but the girl beat me too it. "Derek!" she said hitting him somewhat hard in across the chest. He looked down at his chest after she hit him and rubbed it slightly not being able to admit out right that it had hurt him. "That was very rude." She continued, putting her hands on her hips. It was then that I realized that I didn't know their names.

"Sorry," Derek muttered under his breath. He didn't meet anyone's eyes while saying this so I knew that he was only saying it to get the girl off his back.

The girl however seemed pleased with herself. She smiled a little to herself and backed away from him heading back to the book shelf. Halfway there she stopped and looked at me with wide eyes. "Oh my!" she said a blush rising on her cheeks. "We haven't introduced ourselves yet! How rude of us!"

I didn't know what to say. I didn't want to be rude and say that she was true in saying that. So I just smiled trying to get the message 'don't worry it's ok, I have other things on my mind' across to her. I think she understood and continued talking anyway.

"I'm Tara Carson. Head Girl. Or use to be." She said waving, since she couldn't reach her hand out for me to shake. I smiled and waved kind of shyly back. Derek made no sudden move to speak. Tara cleared her throat and he seemed to sense that she wanted him to speak for himself.

"What a pair." I thought almost laughing.

"I'm Derek Shneeble. Former Head Boy," he said nodding his head at me.

"And I'm Hermione Granger. Current Head Girl." I said smiling at them.

"Well, Hermione, it was very nice to meet you and I hope you stop by sometime again. We don't get much company other than each other. And sometimes it's nice to have another woman to talk to. If you understand." Tara said smiling.

I nodded my head. Tara seemed like a nice person. "It was nice to meet you too, and I'm sure I'll stop by sometime." In fact I wasn't sure If I was ever going to come back down this corridor again, and if I did I didn't know if I would talk to them. But I said it anyway. Possibly another lie to add to my growing count.

I said my goodbye to them and continued on my way. Slowly I walked to the library where I knew Malfoy would be waiting for me. I no longer felt the need to hurry. If Dumbledore wasn't there I didn't need to be polite to Malfoy. I was almost enjoying the fact that I was going to see him.

Almost. I remembered right away who he was and where he came from. I knew what he represented and I knew that I wanted nothing to do with the sort.

Now I seemed to be regretting going to the library. Mark that one in the books.

**It's nothing I planned  
And not that I can  
But you should be mine   
Across that line**

**If I traded it all  
If I gave it all away for one thing  
Just for one thing  
If I sorted it out  
If I knew all about this one thing  
Wouldn't that be something  
**

I entered the library immediately heading toward the back. I knew no one ever used the back of the library because one, that's where the restricted section is located and two, because the farther back you go in the library the more information you get from the books. No one but me liked the back part of the library. I knew Malfoy would go back there. No one would see him meeting with me.

As I got farther and farther away from human civilization, the books got dustier and older. I loved this part of the library. I passed my favorite section, the section about the early Hogwarts, and came into the section of early wizard battles.

Finally, though I spotted him in the corner. He was sitting at a round table his elbows propped up. One hand was lazily scribbling over some doodle someone left into the table. The other was shading his eyes, so no one would know it was him. "Like anyone wouldn't know it was Malfoy." I thought. He stuck out like a sore thumb, his platinum blonde hair and the fact that Malfoy was never seen in the library.

**I promise I might  
Not walk on by  
Maybe next time  
But not this time**

I walked slowly up to the table and sat down across from him. I placed my bag quietly on the floor next to me and pulled out my daily planner and my quill. I set these out and organized myself as much I could. During this process Malfoy never once looked up from the table. I noticed that he was tracing a design someone had left in the table. It at first seemed like a circle, but upon closer examination I noticed that was a flower. I beautifully made flower to be exact.

I coughed loudly, trying to get him to sit up and pay attention. But he continued to sit and trace the flower. "So," I said a little loud, trying to get him to acknowledge my presence.

"Ya," he said sitting up a little and suddenly acting business like. "Dumbledore wanted us to work out our schedule with out him. Since_ I_ was there _early_ we decided that he wasn't really needed to create a simple schedule." He said. I glared at him.

"Sorry, I have other stuff to tend to first." I said through gritted teeth. I really need to try the count to ten method.

"Making out with Weasle doesn't count as an excuse, Granger." He said with a smirk.

It took all I had to just reply with a somewhat composed answer. "I wasn't doing anything with Ron, Malfoy."

"Oh, sorry," he said sarcastically. "Let's see its Monday...it's Potter's turn around isn't it?" he said his smirk growing wider.

With the growing anger I had inside me I had finally reached a boiling point. I snapped.

"Malfoy! You prat! Would you get your brain out of the gutter and get it through your tiny little brain that I don't have a thing for Ron or Harry or any boy in the Gryffindor house or Ravenclaw or Hufflepuff and definitely not Slytherin?" I shouted at him. I half expected the books around us to have dust flying and us be totally enveloped in a dust storm. My throat hurt from yelling so loudly and suddenly at him.

"Oh, then it must have been Krum." Malfoy said enjoying me getting all worked up.

I slammed the table with my fist. "Malfoy! No! I am not going out with anyone! I had other stuff to do alright?" I shouted. I was seeing spots. I had never been this angry before. Why was I so mad at this? It was something I got all the time from Malfoy.

"Ya, I guess you're right. I'm giving you too much credit. You couldn't get a boyfriend with your looks." he said lazily seizing me up with his eyes. I suddenly felt very self conscious and looked down at the table. I hated the way he looked at me. How dare he!

Before I could attack my prey Madam Price came back to our table. "If you two would kindly keep it quite, others are _trying_ to study. And I must say you are setting a bad example being Head Boy and Head Girl." She said trying to contain herself. I had never seen her this angry before. Usually when she was mad at loud students in the library she would turn red and yell at them a little. She was now beyond mad. A vein was throbbing in her head and she was now a deep purple color.

"Yes Ma'am." I whispered feeling very ashamed of myself. I really must learn to control my anger.

After she was out of ear shot Malfoy rounded on me. "Great going, Granger. Now you got us in trouble."

"Me?" I said disbelievingly. "How was it _me_ who got us in trouble? If you didn't say a bunch of snide remarks about my friends I wouldn't have to make noise, but no you have to see how far you can go before someone snaps!" I spat. I took a few deep breaths trying not to notice that Malfoy was smirking at me. "Let's just get this done with. The sooner I get away from you the better."

"Fine. I work on Sundays. You work the rest," he said standing up.

"What?" I said in a whisper not believing he would even suggest that. Maybe as a joke but he looked dead serious.

"You heard what I said," he said looking at his perfect nails.

"No way! It has to be even."

"There's no way it can be. There are seven days in a week. Seven isn't divisible by two. Therefore one of us has to work over time. Honestly Granger, I thought you were supposed to be the smartest witch of our age. You seem to be slacking on the job if you ask me."

"Well, I didn't ask you, Malfoy." I sighed. "Fine, we'll each do three days a week and have the seventh day to share duties."

"Sounds good. I'll do Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday and Sunday. You'll do Thursday, Friday, Saturday and Sunday," he said and started to walk away. He stopped however and turned toward me. "Don't tell anyone that we met here." he said looking around making sure that no one had seen us together.

"Like I would. I don't want people to know that I'm hanging out with you." I said defensively, crossing my arms over my chest.

"Good," he said and I thought he was done talking. "I appreciate it," he said before turning on his heel and leaving me in the dusty section of the library completely rooted to the spot.

"Was he being nice?" I thought. "Something is definitely up. I need to find out what it is." I thought with determination. "I also need to stop procrastinating."

**Even though I know  
I don't wanna know  
Yeah I guess I know  
I just hate how it sounds**


	4. Silver and Cold

**Disclaimer:** Ick, again, I do not own anything Harry Potter related. I own just the plot. I also do not own any of the songs that I use in this story. I wish I owned sometime of value, other than my BunBun, and he's only sentimental value. Poo.

**I came here by day, but I left here in darkness and found you on the way.  
Now, it is silver and silent.  
It is silver and cold.  
You, in somber resplendence, I hold.**

And so the days passed like hours, fast and yet by far too short. Before I knew it, my classes had ended on Friday and Saturday began without a second thought.

I was half heartedly doing my patrolling duties. I was really distracted with trying to remember every fact I could about the Troll Goblin War of 1387 for my History of Magic quiz tomorrow, and wasn't really paying attention to my duties. Shame on me!

However, I remembered that I was on duty when I heard voices ahead of me. It struck me curios that anyone would be out at two o'clock in the morning just leisurely talking, so I sped up my steps to catch them in the act of rule breaking.

Using an ability I had picked up over the summer called; 'try to be very quite' I snuck up on the rule breaking voices. I admit that I was very shocked to see three people that I personally knew very well standing there dumbfounded. Ginny Weasley, Colin Creevy, and Luna Lovegood stared blankly back at me.

"What are you guys doing?" I hissed in a whisper.

They just looked at me blankly. Apparently they had not thought that there would be people patrolling tonight and were mildly surprised someone had caught them. Luna and Collin looked anywhere but my face, but Ginny, knowing me like a sister, smiled falsely up at me.

"'Evening 'Mione," she said trying to please me with her plastered smile. She laughed nervously and bounced up and down on the balls of her feet. I frowned at her and she stopped smiling.

"I asked you a question," I said talking in a normal voice now. I was trying to be responsible but I found it hard. I had never had to give anyone a detention before and I didn't want to start with my friends.

"Oh, right," she said trailing off a little. "Well, you see," she started again, only to be interrupted by Luna.

"We were just out looking for you."

"We were?" Collin asked looking utterly confused. He saw the look on Luna's face and quickly caught on. "Oh! Right, yes, um, ya we were," he said trying to cover it up, but failing miserably.

"You guys know you're not allowed to be out this late," I said setting them up for a surprise. "And you know how I am with the rules." I continued. The looks on their faces were priceless. They knew me well enough to know that I'm a stickler for the rules. What they didn't know is that I have considerably loosened up lately.

Now you're probably thinking; Hermione Granger, A plus student, Head Girl, would never pull a prank.' All I have to say to that is, you have forgotten who I hang around with.

You see, being friends with Harry Potter and Ron Weasley automatically classifies you as one of the pranksters of Hogwarts. I'll admit that all or most of the pranks that have been pulled at Hogwarts were in someway related to me. If I did the planning in them, or the really advanced spells in them, I was someway involved.

Being friends with Fred and George Weasley has also had an affect on me. I was rough on them before, but I really approve of their shop. They have grown up in their own way. Managing a business is hard work and they do it splendidly…even if their shop is a joke shop.

"So since two Gryffindors and a Ravenclaw are out at two o'clock in the morning..." Their faces fell a little and I couldn't help but feel a little guilty. "I will let you off with a warning." I finished smiling. Luna and Colin let out a breath of relief. Ginny sighed and leaned a little into Colin.

"I thought you were really going to let us have it," she said.

"I know. That's why I led you on like that. But you should get back to your common room and get some sleep before I really have to give you detentions."

"Oh thank you Hermione!" Luna screeched, loudly. She jumped a little and hugged my lightly looking downright giddy.

After she had screamed her thanks into the night, I immediately heard footsteps coming our way. Luna clapped a hand over her mouth and looked shamefully at the floor.

Draco Malfoy rounded the corner at that moment. He had a skip in his step and a smirk on his face. He looked at us for a moment and whistled long and slow.

"Is the Potter fan club having a slumber-party?" He asked teasingly. I balled my hands into fists and spun on my heel to face him square in the face.

"It's nothing you need to worry about, Malfoy. I just took care of it," I said ushering the trio toward the end of the hallway.

"Really? I don't think you did," he said smiling. "You see if you had, then these three munchkins would have detention tomorrow. By the looks of it, they got off the hook. Had it been any other student, they surely would have gotten detention by the perfect rule abiding Granger, wouldn't they?" he said smirking. I really wanted to wipe that smirk off his face. The only way I knew how. I wanted to give him a good kick you-know-where. But somehow I restrained myself.

"Malfoy, really! I took care of it! Unlike you, I can show authority with out flailing it around like a lunatic," I said advancing on him.

"Temper, temper," he said, waving a finger back in forth, trying to make me feel bad about my actions. "Well, since they had their warning, but are still standing there, I here by give the three Potter Praisers detention tomorrow evening at the Forbidden Forest." With that, he flipped out a little book that the Head Boy and Girl used to keep records of everyone serving detention.

"You can't be serious," I said.

"Oh but I am," he said scribbling down the names.

It was too late; there was nothing I could do. Once the names of people were written down, they never came off the list. Damn magic! "I hope you know how unbelievably cruel you are," I said trying not to lose my cool. The three had retreated to the common room trying not doubt to escape even more punishment, leaving Malfoy and I to argue.

"Just live with it, Granger. We both have to help with detention tomorrow. It's Sunday tomorrow." He hurriedly walked down the hall. Wait. If it was Saturday Malfoy shouldn't have been out of bed either. It was my night to do duties. What was he doing?

Shaking my head I checked my watch. It was time for the teachers to resume their patrolling duties. I was more than ready to fall into my bed. I was worn out.

I changed by magic into my pajama's, I was way too tired to do it the 'muggle' way and undress myself. I crawled into my silk sheets and gazed up at the ceiling feeling my eyelids grow heavier with each blink I took. Slowly I feel into a deep sleep dreaming about what tomorrow would bring.

**Your sins into me, oh, my beautiful one now. **

**Your sins into me. As a rapturous voice escapes, I will tremble a prayer  
and I'll beg for forgiveness.  
Your sins into me, oh, my beautiful one.**

Birds were chirping slowly and sweetly when I awoke in the morning. The sun had decided, like I had, that it was not a good day to be vibrant and bouncy, and decided to stay hidden behind the trees of the Forbidden Forest. There were deep, dark shadows cast over the grounds of Hogwarts.

I crawled out of the comfort of my bed with a groan. Today was a day that I felt like sitting in the window sill and reading a good book. I certainly didn't want to be in charge of giving a detention in the Forbidden Forest with my friends and Malfoy.

I quickly got ready for the day. I dressed in simple robes and did my hair so that it was out of my face. Normally I would have left it down to do whatever it pleased, but today I felt like having at least one thing under control. I knew my anger toward Malfoy would be raging and uncontrollable. I wanted to feel somewhat in charge of something.

Reluctantly I went down stairs to the common room. I spotted Ron and Harry playing wizard's chess in the corner. Harry cursed aloud as Ron won again. I shot him a glance and he blushed slightly, knowing how I felt about him cursing. I saw Ginny and Colin sitting subdued in the corner, trying to be unnoticed.

"Hey," I said sitting down across from them in a loveseat.

Neither of them made a move to make conversation. "Hi," Ginny said a moment later.

"Listen, about last night," I began hoping to explain to them that I tried as hard as I could about it.

"It's not your fault," Collin cut me off.

"It was the stupid git Malfoy," Ginny finished for him.

I was surprised, to say the least. If I was in there position and someone like me had landed me a detention with the biggest git in the world, I would have been upset and mean toward that person. But Ginny and Collin simply took it in stride, being the great friends that they are. In that moment I was truly happy for the friends that I was blessed with. I had never thought about how great they were before.

We sat in comfortable silence for a while. I was thinking about my blessings. Friends were one of them, but did I have more? Family, yes, but what else? Looks? No, definitely not. Brains? Yes, but only because I trained myself to be that way. Anyone could be were I was. Athletic ability? Oh no, I was athletically challenged. Love?

That was one that puzzled me. Sure, my friends loved me. Harry and Ron loved me, but they were not the kind of love I was referring to. Harry and Ron loved me as a sister. I was speaking of the love that my parents shared; the love that a girlfriend and boyfriend share. I did not have that kind of love and it was my biggest hole in my soul.

"Hermione," Ron said placing a hand on my shoulder and shaking me a bit. "Hermione, let's go down to breakfast." I nodded. I had been so focused on my thoughts that I had not noticed that all of the common room had left for breakfast already.

Walking down to breakfast I glanced at Ron and Harry out of the side of my vision. They didn't know how much they meant to me. I don't recall ever telling them that they were my world.

"Guys," I said stopping for a moment. They turned and looked at me questionably.

"What's wrong, 'Mione?" Harry asked stepping closer. Ron raised an eyebrow asking the same silent question.

"Nothing, it's just I wanted to say something important."

Harry nodded and Ron raised an eyebrow even farther up his head. Maybe eyebrows could float off a persons head? It looked like that's what Ron's was about to do anyway. "I wanted to say that I really appreciate you guys being my friends. That I really love you guys. I've never said it aloud before because then it seems like its labeled and I didn't want that I suppose."

If eyebrows could float, Ron's would be by Pluto now. Harry opened his mouth a few times seeming like he was about to say something but couldn't form any words too. Ron made noised like a fish. "You don't have to act so surprised. It's just that I felt like I should tell you."

"Well…wow…erm…I mean…" Harry was not often speechless. He blinked hard a few times and cleared his throat. "What I mean to say is that, we love you too, it's just that, um…why do you feel the need to tell us this now? Is there something big happening soon?"

Harry was right in a way. Voldemort had been making a lot of attacks lately. Although mainly on failed death eaters, it was still attacks. Each attack made the headline of the Daily Prophet. Each headline made everyone nervous. When Voldemort was finished with punishing Death Eaters, who would he move to? Muggles? Mudbloods? Harry?

Maybe I felt nervous about this, and that's why I wanted to confess to them my feelings. I was nervous about what would happen next. Although I was nervous, I'm sure it was nothing as to what Harry felt at the moment.

"Well, not that I know of but there could be. That's beside the point though. I just wanted to tell you guys this. I don't know why I've put it off for so long."

Ron snapped back into our conversation at that moment. "Well, there will be plenty of time for all of this sentimental stuff later. Nothings gonna happen to anybody if we have a say in it," he gestured loosely to Harry and I before pointing to himself. "We can handle anything right? Trolls, potions, evil chess pieces. We're going to make it through a lot more too."

Harry nodded and I felt my face grow hot. I was embarrassed at seeming to come out like I thought we were all going to die in our sleep tonight. Ron however sensed this about me and slung an arm around my shoulders. "It's ok though. I love you too, Hermione. I just don't say it often enough."

Harry slung his arm around my shoulders too. Around my shoulders he patted Ron on the back. "We're unstoppable together."

Smiling up at them I placed a kiss on each of their cheeks. Ron wiped at his jokingly. "OK, now we're going to need to stop! This sentimental stuff is making me hungry."

I laughed as we sat down at our usual spot. We sat the remainder in comfortable silence, having a mutual agreement about everything that was worthy of discussing.

Later that evening I sat in the common room trying without avail to focus on my book. This was my first detention I had given since the beginning of the year. I was nervous that somehow or another I would screw it up. On top of that it was my first detention in the Forbidden Forest. At least, a detention I wasn't personally serving myself. But worst of all was that I was giving a detention with Malfoy.

Sighing very deeply, trying to get some much needed oxygen to my brain I put my book on the coffee table. I waved goodbye to Ron and Harry and made my way out of the comfort of the Gryffindor Common Room.

I met Ginny, Luna, and Collin about halfway to the Entrance Hall. They were solemnly leaning against the wall near the Ravenclaw common rooms. Without a word they fell in tow with me the rest of the way. When we reached the Entrance hall we saw Malfoy standing there glancing at his watch impatiently.

"You're late," he said not looking up from his watch.

"Don't make any of your snide remarks, Malfoy. I'm sure we could say a few things about you. But we, unlike you, have some decency." Luna snapped coldly at him. Malfoy rolled his eyes impatiently. He waved her off and walked out the door. Shaking my head I followed him out onto the grounds.

It was a wonderful night at. If I hadn't been giving a detention I would no doubt be out at the Quidittch stands reading a book while Harry and Ron played. It was fairly warm out and there was a slight breeze. The warm breeze didn't move your clothes or make you uncomfortable, but it did make the trees move in a hypnotizing dance. There were a few clouds out left over from the cloudy day that we had. The clouds left mysterious shadows on the ground that crept their way over the ground. The lovely sounds of the forest were in the distance. You could hear the crickets singing their evening song. I closed my eyes listening to the sound of the wind brushing through the tall trees. A bird sang a lovely song as it took flight, the flutter of it's wings ringing high above the rest.

**Light, like the flutter of wings,  
feel your hollow voice rushing into me  
as you're longing to sing.**

We walked silently to the edge of the forest. When we reached it I turned to face the 'trouble makers'. Luna had her hair in her face and I was unable to read what she was thinking. Collin was wringing his hands nervously. Ginny simply looked at her shoes, kicking the ground every once in a while. "All right," I said. "This is it. We're going to pair up and search for injured animals." Luna's head snapped up. She was a well known supporter of animal rights. I knew she would not like to see any animal injured, but I also knew that she would do anything to help an animal. "Hopefully we won't find any," I added as an afterthought. Luna seemed relieved.

"Hopefully, but most unlikely," Malfoy snarled. Luna gulped loudly. Malfoy continued as if he didn't hear her. "There are many dangerous animals out there. If any of you are in danger all you do is send up red sparks and…" he trailed off for a moment, quickly glancing in my direction. It sounded for a moment like he might say, "Hermione or I will be there to help you" but instead he said, "And someone will be there to help."

The trio nodded in understanding, not trusting their own voices. Malfoy paired Luna with me right away. Ginny moved slightly closer to Collin and Malfoy seemed to get the idea. Looking around Malfoy's eyes suddenly lit up. "Well, it looks like there is no room for me. I'll just head back to the castle then."

"I don't think so Malfoy!" I said crossing my arms over my chest. "It's Sunday. We _both_ do detentions on Sunday, so get over here and get in a group!"

"You have to manage your temper, Granger. It's going to get you into trouble one of these days," Malfoy replied just as icily as I had. "I'll go by myself. I can take care of myself." He spun on his heal and promptly headed dead on into the heart of the forest.

"Let's just get this over with," Collin said grumpily heading out into the blackness with Ginny.

Luna started walking and I followed her. We didn't say anything for a long time. We were both rather nervous about what would happen if we did find an injured animal. I'm sure that Luna would either faint or start throwing every healing charm she knew at it. I would probably just send up red sparks to let the others know we found one. Some leader I turned out to be.

**So I will paint you in silver.  
I will wrap you in cold.  
I will lift up your voice as I sink**

As we walked silently, out of no where a scream rang out. I felt a cold hand grab my heart. Someone was in trouble. Luna shot out a hand to stop me, her head looking to the right, where the scream had come from. I followed her gaze and saw that indeed red sparks had shot up in the distance.

"Luna, stay here. I'm going to see what happened," I whispered to her running off in the direction of the scream.

Somehow I knew that it was Ginny's scream. I knew her like a sister and had heard her scream many different times, in many different ways. I crossed out the ideas of it being Collin or Malfoy. I knew that they would not scream like that because it was 'like a girl' and they both had their 'macho' look to be withholding.

I was both right and wrong.

I came upon a small clearing and I found Ginny lying on the ground sobbing into Collin. Collin stood rather awkwardly supporting Ginny as well as he could. A small smile was on his face as he rubbed small gentle circles on her back.

"What happened?" I gasped, trying to get a good breath in. I really needed to get in shape! Collin smiled a little wider.

"Did Ginny ever tell you that she was afraid of crows?" Collin asked somewhat innocently.

"No." What did the fact that Ginny was scared of crows have to do with anything?

"Well, we were talking and she kind of laughed really loud and apparently crows live in this part of the forest. They were scared from the trees and flew around her head." Ginny gave a heaving sob and cried harder into Collin as he retold the story. He looked up to me and shrugged a little. I sighed. I was glad to know that no one was seriously injured.

"Can you two make it back to the castle?" I bent over to look at Ginny. She was scratched and bruised, but she didn't look too bad. The worst thing she had done to herself is just cry into her scrapes.

"Ya," Collin said picking Ginny up like she was his bride. Ginny put her arms around his neck and snuggled into his shirt still crying. 'What a cute couple' I thought smiling on the inside. "Do you want me to come back after she's back by the fire?" Collin asked after taking a few steps.

I waved him off. "No, it's alright. You guys have done your duty. I'll go find Luna again and tell her to do the same."

Leaving the small clearing I walked for about ten minutes not really thinking about anything. Then with a sudden realization it struck me that I had no clue where I was. I had last seen Ginny and Collin in a small clearing and where I was now was the thickest part of the forest I had ever been in.

I had also left Luna in somewhat of a clearing. It was no where near as thick as it was now, and I was starting to get panicked. I had no idea where I was, or where anyone else was. I looked up looking for the North Star to guide me, but I couldn't see through the forest canopy to the night sky.

I heard leaves rustle behind me and turned to see nothing. A group of bushes were growing about ten feet away from me and rustling softly. I knew I shouldn't approach the bushes. I had learned that from reading different books and by the various horror movies my parents watched. Instead I took a few cautious steps back. The bushes shook more violently at this.

I slowly reached into my robes and pulled out my wand, holding it steady at the ready. As I stood there poised for attack I thought I heard a laugh…

Was it a laugh? It could be a growl of a ferocious animal about to attack. This scared me even more. The only animal I could think of that laughed was a laughing hyena, and I certainly didn't want to be around one right now. "Granger, you're so predictable," A cold voice said from the bushes.

"Malfoy!" I hadn't been expecting it to be him. Of all things I expected it to be Voldemort! All the fear rushed out of me, but it was quickly replaced with red hot anger. Malfoy just laughed and stepped out of the bushes, a cruel smile playing on his lips.

**Oh, my beautiful one**

"The look on your face was priceless! You looked like there would really be an animal in the bushes!" He stood shaking with laughter and I wanted to do nothing more than to slap the little ferret.

But he was wrong. The bushes rustled again. Malfoy stopped laughing and jumped into line with me, his wand also rising to the ready position.

"What's in there?" I whispered, hoping it was just one of his tricks.

Malfoy only looked at the bush with wide silver eyes, fear washing over them for the second he had his masks down. "I don't..." before he could finish his sentence an animal jumped out of the bushes. I should have listened to all my years of training, but in that instant I forgot every logical thing to do. I screamed and latched on to Malfoy's arm. Malfoy jumped. I'm not sure from the animal coming out of the bushes, me screaming, or by me practically hanging on him.

The beast was beautiful really. The head of a lion, the body of a horse, and the tail of a lizard; a chimera sauntered from the darkness glaring at us ready to attack. Its sleek body shone in the little moonlight that seeped through the canopy of the forest. Malfoy and I stood rooted to the spot, hoping he would mistake us for a tree and move along.

But chimeras are very smart, and can smell meat. Unfortunately, chimeras can also smell fear. Even more unfortunately for us, we were both very afraid and both fresh meat.

"Don't move," Malfoy whispered to me, not moving his mouth but speaking out of the corner of his mouth. I would have responded, "Duh!" but decided now wasn't the time for sarcastic remarks.

The chimera stalked up to us and started sniffing around us. Its eyes shot up as it came within two feet of Malfoy. It stood studying him through narrowed eyes. Malfoy wasn't a dumb person, as much as I hate to admit it, so he knew that it was his only time to defend himself.

But he wasn't as smart as I thought he was. He had forgotten the only rule when it came to chimeras: never, _never_, turn your back on it. Chimeras take great offense at this and will attack with full force.

So needless to say, Malfoy thought the best way to be rid of the beast was to turn his back and run.

I thought it was all over for us. More importantly him, but with my reflexes I pulled out my wand and jumped in front of Malfoy at the same time. The chimera instead of pouncing on Malfoy jumped on top of me, sending me to the ground.

I closed my eyes, not wanting to see what was happening to me. A sharp pain ran up my spine and stayed in my head. I couldn't move. It was pain like I had only felt once in my life, and hoped that I never would have to feel again. The chimera was tearing away at my body roughly, causing my head to crash into a tree trunk. Every time I hit the tree I would sense, rather than see red dots in my vision. I pleaded to anyone to just let me die so it would be over with.

As you probably know, I don't have that kind of luck.

Instead of dieing, I suddenly felt the pressure of the chimera be lifted off me. It had stopped attacking me somehow. I was know having the full effects of my injuries settle in. I could feel the sting of an open wound being mixed with dirt and gravel from the ground. And even stranger I could feel the whoosh of wind blowing over my wounds. I knew that I was probably being carried. I didn't know how though. All logical thoughts had been pushed out of my brain. All I know is that I wanted to be comfortable, and the most comfortable position I could find was leaning against whoever was carrying me. I breathed in their scent.

It was such a sweet smell. Like pine trees and a cinnamon apple pie your mother backed on a summer day rolled into one. I had smelled it before, but I could not for the life of me remember where I had smelt it. The smell washed over me and I became relaxed.

That's all I remember before I blacked out.

**Cold in life's throws. I'll fall asleep for you. I only ask you turn away.  
I only ask your turn as they seep into me, oh, my beautiful one.**


	5. Figure 09

**Disclaimer: **Need I point out for one more time that I am not the original owner of Harry Potter? I am not making any money off of this story. But, oh, wouldn't that be loverly? By Golly Gee Whiz Ya Betcha!

**Nothing ever stops all these thoughts and the pain attached to them  
Sometimes I wonder why this is happenin'**

I felt something touching me. I couldn't tell what it was but it was annoying and it hurt. Didn't the thing that was touching me know that I was just scratched within an inch of my life? Wouldn't you think they'd be gentle? But no, of course, no one is that gentle.

It was my own fault anyway. I could have let that chimera tear Malfoy apart. Why didn't I? Here I was in the most pain I had ever been in and I had a choice of doing it or not. How stupid am I?

Wait a second! Where am I? Am I at Hogwarts? St. Mungo's? Who's touching me? Am I dead? Is this what it feels like to be dead? A zillion thoughts rushed by in a whirlwind in my head. Thoughts that puzzled me and confused me even more. And all the time I couldn't concentrate on one thought because with each touch the person gave to me I felt even more pain.

Ever so slowly things started to come back together. I could hear a little bit at a time. Even though it was soft and muttered, I could make out just enough to give me some information. With every bit of information I got, I grew steadily more confused.

"She isn't expected to live," A voice said with a crack in their soft voice.

"We need basilisk blood right away. She won't live otherwise!" Another said in a hurried tone.

"You know how rare that is!" Someone else protested. "She won't live...it's a great loss," one said sadly. Someone sniffed and blew their nose loudly. What was happening?

"But...Malfoy...lped." Yet another said.

"Lped! That's a new one," I thought giggling in my head. What kind of crazy word is that? Then a thought struck me. Maybe lped was just a part of a word. Duh on me! I was suppose to be smart! I promised myself that I would not die until I found what the word lped was. I lay there for what seemed like a lifetime, when in reality it was probably only about five minutes before it hit me.

Helped. Why would it take me so long to figure that out? Helped! Such a simply word!

Malfoy had helped _me_! It was such a weird thought that I couldn't quite grasp it. I had never seen Malfoy even say thank you when someone passed something to him, why would he help me? Let alone help me in such a big way that it saved my life?

Or almost saved my life. The voices around my bed were certainly sure that I was going to die. Weirdly enough I was not afraid of this. It was almost calming to know that it was almost over actually.

I was tired. It had been a long time since I had gotten a good rest. I slowly slipped into unconsciousness thinking about how Malfoy had helped me.

**It's like nothing I can do would distract me when  
I think of how I shot myself in the back again  
Cuz from the infinite words I can say I  
Put all pain you gave to me on display**

I don't know when it was that I awoke next, but I supposed that it was the next day or later that evening. The voices that used to be around my bed had gone away and a new pair of voices were talking very heatedly. I tried opening my eyes, but all I could see were blurbs moving around the room and occasionally throwing a hand out to make a point.

"You have to understand," A voice said desperately. "This has only happened twice in history." There was a pregnant pause. "Ever recorded, mind you," the voice added. I knew that it was Dumbledore talking. The voice had an air in it that sounded superior and well educated.

"To who?" The second voice asked. The person was a man and I had no idea who it was. It sounded like I should be able to remember but I couldn't. It was in a tone that I didn't recognize.

"Derek Shneeble and Tara Carson, back in 1908. And the other pair was James Potter and Lily Evans," Dumbledore said and I could almost hear him smile.

"James and Lily Potter? How? What?" The voice asked in falsetto. I was surprised too. What had happened? What did they go through?

"Yes Mr. Malfoy," Ah, so it was Malfoy. I didn't recognize his voice, because it didn't have its usual whine in it. He was taught to hate Dumbledore, but he was also taught to respect his elders. I guess he got something right in his education. "But I'm afraid that that story is for another day and time." Dumbledore turned away from Malfoy and looked at me studying me for awhile before he smiled slightly, "Ah, Ms. Granger. How are you feeling?"

I tried to talk back, but I couldn't. It was taking all of my strength to open my eyes to the tiny slits that they were. There was no possible way I could respond. I just blinked slowly trying to say that I wasn't feeling very well, thanks for asking. Dumbledore nodded his head almost seeming to read my mind. "I will go fetch Madam Pomfrey. Perhaps she has something that could be of assistance." He glided away and Malfoy bounced up and down on the balls of his feet awkwardly.

He looked around like there were interesting paintings on the wall. There were none of course, but I knew that he didn't want to look at me. Again he cleaned the dirt from under his nails and tried to focus on getting them cleaner. After Dumbledore had been gone a long time he finally shot a glance in my direction. He looked extremely uncomfortable.

"A-are you alright?" he asked looking at my injuries. I too looked down at my left leg that was put in a cast. I tried wiggling a toe but I couldn't feel if I had any left. My right arm was in too many bandages to even tell I had an arm anymore.

I tried to make a noise of disgust. I wanted him to know that no, I was not alright. I was just attacked by an animal that had it out for him! How could I possibly be alright, if I couldn't feel my toes? I half snorted and half coughed. It hurt like the dickens. My chest tore painfully. I felt hot tears grace my eyes. I would have thought that Malfoy would get the message I was trying to get across, but he didn't.

"What's that supposed to mean, Granger?" he hissed. Great! Now he's being the mean Malfoy again!

Before I could try talking to him again, Dumbledore interrupted us. He was carrying a large tray filled with different types of potions. There were blue ones that bubbled, purple ones that hissed, and yellow ones that looked tasty. He set the tray down on the bedside table and picked up a tall, skinny bottle and fed it to me. "That's to help with the pain," he explained. He then grabbed the blue bubbly potion and gave it to me. It tasted horrible. "That one is for moving a bit more loosely." It burned my throat on the way down, but after a moment I could feel my toes again!

"So, Ms. Granger, how are you feeling?" he asked pleasantly, organizing the potions absentmindedly, as if I wasn't lying on a bed in too many casts to count.

"Frozen," was my sophisticated remark. Why did I just have to say that? I try so hard to be intelligent around Dumbledore that I come out more of a dork. "Because all my muscles are jammed up or something," I continued trying to make up for my slip of brilliance.

"Yes, I suppose they would be frozen. But, right now we have more important things to talk about," he said shifting around in his seat glancing at Malfoy for a second. Malfoy nodded and took a seat on the other side of my bed.

**Took what I hated and made it apart of me**

**Never goes away,**

**Never goes away**

"Well, first of all, I need to know exactly what happened out there," he said placing his fingertips together thoughtfully.

I let Malfoy take over for that one. "Well, Weasley, or um, Ginny," I could tell he had trouble saying her name without disgust. "She screamed and I went to see what the problem was. I guess she did too," he said waving his arm in my direction instead of, God forbid, saying the name Hermione. "Ginny had apparently just seen a crow, which she's terrified of and screamed. We were walking back to get to work again when we heard the bushes rumble."

I was not surprised to see that Malfoy left out the minor detail that he had been unmercifully teasing me before the chimera attacked. I scowled deeply at him and he rolled his eyes. I believe Dumbledore saw this but didn't remark on it.

"Then the chimera stepped out of the bushes. Draco and I stood still hoping that it would pass us by, but it didn't." It wasn't as hard as I thought it would be to say his name. "So, the chimera stepped forward to attack him, and I jumped in front of him." I thought for right now I would leave out the part that he turned his back on it. I have no idea why, but it didn't seem important at the moment.

**And now  
You've become a part of me  
You'll always be right here  
You've become a part of me  
You'll always be my fear**

"Ah, I see," Dumbledore said running his hand through his beard thoughtfully. "Have either of you ever heard of the Goshawk Blessing?" He asked looking at us hopefully. I had read something about it a long time ago, but I couldn't remember anything about it. I should remember to take notes on everything! We both shook our heads. "Well, it's a curse or a blessing depending on how you'd look at it. I assume for you two, it would be a curse." Curse? I gulped. "Well, it's very old magic. Older than the four founders time actually. It's a rule in the Wizarding World. If you help another Wizard by saving their life, they're in eternal debt of you until they return the favor in a large amount."

I'm pretty sure my jaw dropped to the floor then. How could this be happening? Just because I do a favor for Malfoy he has to do one for me? That hardly makes any sense! I'm doomed! Malfoy will never do a favor for me!

**I can't separate  
Myself from what I've done  
Giving up a part of me  
I've let myself become you **

**I took what I hated and made it apart of me**

"So you both realize now then, that Mr. Malfoy will have to return the favor to you Ms. Granger in a great amount."

"Ya, b-b-but, how can you--" I tried reasoning. There had to be a way out of this. There were ways that dark wizards had weaseled out of things, there had to be a way to get out of this. What would happen if we didn't get even?

"I'm sure that this is Goshawk's Blessing. There are many ways to know for sure and we've checked into them."

"Like what things?" Malfoy asked almost rudely. Dumbledore didn't hear the malice in the comment. Malfoy's face was an odd color of red as he looked from Dumbledore to me. He was getting very angry very quick.

"That, is for another day too, Mr. Malfoy." His eyes twinkled merrily almost enjoying putting us through this. I could have sworn I heard him laugh under his breath, but it would have been hard to tell. Malfoy was taking very deep breaths now trying to gain some control.

"And what if I never have the time to _repay_ her?" Malfoy forced out. Dumbledore eyed him suspiciously, and so did I. I had wanted to know the answer to the question too, but I think there was a more appropriate way of doing so. Dumbledore ignored Malfoy anger.

"I would not know. The favor has always been repaid. Let's not be the first," he said heading toward the door. I followed his slow easy steps. He turned to me when he opened the door and leaned back in to add: "Please get better Ms. Granger. You've already missed a lot of school, and I'm sure you're friends are wanting to talk to you. They've been in and out for the past couple of days." With that he left.

**Get away from me  
Give me my space back you gotta just  
Go   
Everything comes down the memories of  
You  
I kept it in without letting you  
Know  
I let you go so get away from  
Me   
Give me my space back you gotta just  
Go  
Everything comes down the memories of  
You  
I kept it in without letting you   
Know  
I let you go**

Malfoy stared at me like I was a poisonous bug about to sting him. A scowl rose on his face like the morning sun. "I didn't ask for this either!" I shot at him.

"Oh, and this is just something that I prayed for then, huh?" He said, his voice dripping with sarcasm. He sat rather roughly into a chair across from me and sat pouting to himself, muttering things about stupid mudbloods and stupid headmasters. I ignored him and tried to think to myself. I looked around the room for something to focus on. My eyes landed on a bed across the room from me. The unmistakable head of Luna Lovegood stuck out from under the covers.

"What's wrong with Luna?" I screeched forgetting that I was mad at Malfoy. He looked at me his eyebrows raised. He didn't say anything for a moment, then he looked over at Luna slowly and then back at me.

"Oh, that," he said nonchalantly like it was no big deal. "When you left her in the woods, she was attacked by something. Great going on taking care of her, by the way!"

"_How dare you_!" I snapped. "If you hadn't been out pulling pranks in the first place, none of this would have happened! How can you even say that it is my fault?" But deep down I agreed that it was my fault.

"Well, it's quite simple. You just make your vocal cords vibrate in the right way," he sneered.

"Is she alright?" I asked trying desperately to change the subject. Malfoy shrugged it off.

"How should I know? She's not one of my friends."

"Argh, you're impossible!"

"That's what everyone keeps telling me," he said sneering a little almost smiling.

At first I thought it was stupid. Then as I thought about it, I thought that his last remark was kind of almost funny. He had never made conversation with me before, and this was almost close to funny. "Everyone who?"

"My father."

I dropped the subject. There's a dead end to a conversation. Malfoy's father was not something someone talked about lightly. Especially someone like me and someone like him.

So I sat for a while thinking everything over.

If Malfoy didn't repay the favor to me what would happen? Would we be alive until he did? Would we die a death worth a thousand deaths? What would happen? The thought scared me. I knew that Malfoy was not keen on helping me in any way possible. He loathed me and I loathed him. That was as far as our relationship went. If he were too actually save me from something wouldn't it require us getting even just a pinch closer?

I shivered at the thought of us getting to be friends. I had for a brief second the image of Malfoy and I sitting in a room on a couch talking about the latest gossip of Hogwarts. How absurd. Malfoy talking to me? Us talking about gossip? I was no the gossip type. I didn't even talk to Ron or Harry about gossip. I think it's disgusting.

Malfoy was just a big jig-saw puzzle. I thought of him as a test question that just needed to be broken down. It's like trying to solve a particularly hard math question without obeying the simple rules of FOIL or PEDMAS. If you do one thing out of order then the whole thing is messed up until you go back and fix it. Another puzzling thing about Malfoy was the fact that no one actually knew him.

He had masks up all the time. He wouldn't let anyone get too close. I'm not sure exactly why. I'm sure that growing up in the manor that he did it was tough to get close to someone without feeling weak, but I think that he's old enough now to form his own opinions about life, right? But what if, to solve this curse, Malfoy would have to get close to me? What if---

"I'm going to class," Malfoy said getting up from his chair suddenly, almost scaring me. I had been so lost in my thoughts that I had forgotten he was even there. I just nodded as an answer, not sure of what to say.

He paused at the door for a moment. He looked back at me his eyes meeting mine. His shone with something I couldn't read. I know mine stopped being full of anger and changed to something a little softer toward him. His hand rested on the brass handle of the door. He opened his mouth to say something, but quickly closed it, shook his head, and walked out of the room.

**And then  
You've become a part of me  
You'll always be right here  
You've become a part of me  
You'll always be my fear  
I can't separate  
Myself from what I've done  
Giving up a part of me  
I've let myself become you  
I've let myself become you  
I've let myself become  
lost inside these thoughts of you  
giving up a part of me  
I've let myself become you**

**I took what I hated and made it apart of me**

**Author's Note:** I'll be back on schedule kind of now. Updating and all. Thanks for all the loverly reviews! Please don't by shy!


	6. Learn To Fly

**Disclaimer:** Disclaimer! HUH! What do I own here! Absolutely Nothing! SAY IT AGAIN! Well, I won't say it again, because all I own here is the plot. The characters belong to JK Rowling and the song belongs to Foofighters.

**Run and tell all of the angels  
This could take all night  
Think I need a devil to help me get things right**

After Malfoy left, I continued to look at the door. I was utterly confused about his behavior. He seemed as troubled and as disturbed about this as I was. This confused me even more because Malfoy never let his emotions show so plainly like that. But I suppose I would act like that if I had to repay an impossible task like that too.

**Hook me up a new revolution  
Cause this one is a lie  
We sat around laughing and watched the last one die**

I sighed and pulled to covers around me tighter, getting the chills. I took my time to look around the room, trying to distract myself. I looked at Luna. Her hair was sprawled out in all directions, her face pale everywhere but her cheeks, which were lightly colored a pink. She must have a very high fever. Madam Pomfrey was tending to her now. She put Luna in a sitting position and fed her a nasty looking potion. Luna stirred and Madam Pomfrey looked distraught. Poor Madam Pomfrey. She always has something to do.

I didn't focus on Luna much longer though, because Harry and Ron entered the Hospital Wing at that moment. They looked like they had just been woken up. Their hair was messed up more than usual and their eyes were red and watery. They came in and sat down in chairs on either side of my bed, staring ahead of them not seeming to notice me. After a moment of them looking into space Harry glanced in my direction.

"Ron! She's awake!" He said, his eyes widening. Harry's eyes always did fascinate me. They showed his emotion even if his face didn't. They always seemed to sparkle in kindness. But when he was angry they flashed like a lightning bolts; reminding me of his scar.

Ron jumped in his chair, his eyes popping slightly seeing that I was awake. He leaned forward and poked me in the cheek, his mouth hanging open as he did. "Wow, she's real!" He said jokingly.

I laughed slightly. Ron was always one to make sure I was happy. Even though we were in a lot of rows, we really did like to see each other laugh. Last year, when Ron and I had started dating for a while he was always making me laugh. After a while it got a little weird though. Ron was like a brother me, and I a sister to him. We decided to break it off before it got too serious or too weird. Unlike other couples that had sworn to stay friends and then became enemies, Ron and I continued to be the best of friends. It might have even brought us a little closer in the long run.

"How long have you been awake?" Harry asked leaning into his chair, visibly relaxing. He looked confused about something. At first I thought he was happy, then he seemed to be angry.

I raised my eyebrow studying him closely. "An hour maybe. What's wrong?"

Ron cursed under his breath. I shot him a glance and he rolled his eyes. "You always know when there's a problem..." he mumbled. Harry ignored him and turned away not looking me in the eye.

"Malfoy," Harry said, spitting his name out in disgust.

Oh, so Malfoy had been causing problems with them already? I just saw him walk out the door not five minutes before. He must have said something to them when he passed them in the hall. That stupid prat!

"What did he do this time?" I asked leaning into my pillow.

"Oh, just the usual. Says we're scum, that kind of stuff," Ron said making a violent gesture in the air. I ignored him, learning that it was the best thing to do in these cases. "And said something about you," he added in a hushed, hurried tone.

I sat straight up again and my pillow fell to the floor. Ron leaned over and got it for me. He dusted it off and fluffed it a bit before handing it back to me. "What did he say about me?"

"Just that you got what you deserved. He seemed really angry about something." I relaxed a little knowing that he hadn't said something about my summer. "He said something else about summer but I didn't hear him because Harry had pushed him into the wall by that point." Ron continued smiling mischievously to himself. "You should have seen it. Harry was about to punch his lights out, but then Snape had to come by and take points off us for almost hurting his favorite student."

Summer. The jerk had almost told them about my summer! How dare he? That little prat was going to be taught a lesson for messing with me! For once I was glad Harry had resorted to violence. I was constantly telling him to restrain from violence and think logically. I shivered wondering what would have happened if Malfoy told them about my summer. I was surprised that Ron and Harry hadn't really pried me too much about it actually.

I snapped out of my thoughts though when Harry started talking again. "What happened, Mione?" he asked in a very serious tone, gazing at me with puppy dog eyes silently begging me to tell him everything. Ron looked at me quizzically too, his lower lip sticking out jus the tiniest of bits. I sighed and looked down at my hands avoiding their gaze.

My hands were scratched deeply. My wrists were wrapped in a cast like I had broken them. I almost laughed thinking about how hard it would be to write notes again. I instantly felt guilty about it. I glanced over at Luna for a second.

_Had Malfoy meant what he said, saying it was my entire fault?_ I asked myself. I didn't want to admit it to myself, but it was my fault. I had been foolish enough to leave her by herself in the forbidden forest. I left her in danger; I should have taken her with. I decided that I would tell Harry and Ron about our detention, for her sake.

I shakily began the story. It took a lot of energy. By the time I was about to tell them about what Dumbledore had said I was exhausted. I was interrupted on a regular basis by an angry Ron or an outraged Harry, but I told them that they needed to wait until the end for me to answer any of the questions. Ron would nod every once in a while, looking like he desperately wanted to ask a question. Harry would mumble to himself glaring at the corner of my bed.

"So what did Dumbledore have to say?" Harry asked impatiently after I had finished my story.

**I'm looking to the sky to save me  
Looking for a sign of life  
Looking for something to help me burn out bright  
I'm looking for complication  
Looking cause I'm tired of lying  
Make my way back home when I learn to fly**

"You promise you won't get mad?" I asked. A lump had risen in my throat. I couldn't continue for much longer.

"Hermione, I'm not mad at you. This is not at all your fault. Any of this," he said waving his hand around to show his point. I thought a moment and then reluctantly agreed to tell what Dumbledore said.

"Well it's called the Goshawk...Curse. For me it is anyway," I said.

"Why curse?" Ron asked fearfully.

"It's a curse or a blessing depending on how you look at it. For Malfoy and I it would be a curse because we don't like each other. For others, who liked each other, I'm sure it would be a blessing. You see, Malfoy and I are now in a way connected."

"Connected?" Ron burst out and I was sure that Madame Pomfrey was going to come and shuffle them away but thankfully she looked up from her desk and glared.

"Shhh," I whispered pointing to her. They nodded and sat looking intently at me. "It's a wizarding law in a sort. If you save a wizards life..."

"Then that wizard has to save your life in return." Harry finished for me. I straightened up and looked at him beaming with pride and question.

"How did you know?" Harry never did as much research as I did. Although he was smart, even I hadn't heard of the curse until just that night. Harry never failed to surprise me. I couldn't tell him how proud of him I was at that moment.

"I'm connected to _Pettigrew,_" he said sadly. A flashback of third year came into my head. Harry had stopped Sirius and Professor Lupin from killing Pettigrew. I never thought that Harry would somehow be connected to Pettigrew for it. I felt bad for Harry now. Harry and I were on the same boat. We both have people that may never return the favor to us.

"Um, what happens if they don't repay the favor?" Ron asked looking between the both of us. We just shrugged and got lost in thought about our own problems, not wanting to think of the consequences.

"Mr. Potter, Mr. Weasley, I would kindly ask you to leave Ms. Granger alone now. She needs her rest and so do you, quidittch tomorrow. I'm sure I'll be seeing the both of you tomorrow evening." Madame Pomfrey interrupted us. Harry and Ron smiled. They were the two people that were in the hospital wing the most. It seemed like once a week they were there for some reason or another.

They nodded and rose from their seats. "Goodnight, Hermione. Get better, we have loads to tell you," Ron said as he leaned over to kiss me on the cheek. Harry nodded and kissed me on the other cheek before the left.

**I think I'm done nursing the patience  
I can wait one night  
I'd give it all away if you give me one last try **

Madame Pomfrey scurried around the room tidying things as she went. I pretended to be asleep but I was really up wondering what had happened to my life.

I hadn't expected the summer I had, but it happened. Like a ton of bricks it had hit me. The only people who knew about my summer were Mr. and Mrs. Weasley (who were sworn to secrecy) Professor Dumbledore, and _Malfoy._

That prat! Whenever I thought about it I would get this twist in my stomach. I wanted to hurt him so badly it hurt. I wanted him to be taught a lesson. Maybe this curse would teach him a lesson. He might grow up a bit. But, no, that was too wishful of thinking.

I was growing tired now. After a long talk with Ron and Harry and a sudden burst of anger toward Malfoy I was exhausted. I thought about gentler times. Times when there were no cares in the world. I couldn't remember a time. The only thing that seemed to calm me was the thought of the strong arms that had held me that stormy night in the summer.

**I'm looking to the sky to save me  
Looking for a sign of life  
Looking for something to help me burn out bright  
I'm looking for complication  
Looking cause I'm tired of lying  
Make my way back home when I learn to fly**

Those arms were what kept me from losing all control. It was the scariest, saddest night of my life and a stranger unsuspectingly saves me by wrapping their arms around me. I couldn't see their face. I could smell them, feel them, and almost _sense _them, but I couldn't see their face...

That's what troubled me. I didn't know who _they _were. I promised myself that I would find that person though, and that's what kept me from doing something drastic. The only way I would ever be able to know who they were is if I felt those arms around me again, and the chances of that happening were slim to none and I knew it.

I looked around the room. The lights were off and the castle was a rest, not having any problems what so ever in the world, unlike me. I was just about to fall into a long awaited sleep when the door to the infirmary was flung open.

**We'll live happily ever trapped if you just save my life  
Run and tell the angels that everything is alright.  
Fly along with me, I can't quite make it alone**

* * *

**Author's Note:** Ok! There's one more chapter done before schedule! YaY! Anyway, I must be going. Need to get ready for prom! Actually I'm not going, but my best friend was asked to go so I'm helping her with her hair. Eeks that will be good. Anyway, you know what I want for a May Day present? A lot of reviews! Haha, please leave me a note! 


	7. Imaginary

**Disclaimer:** I have nothing even semi-creative to say, so I own nothing. No songs, no characters. I only own the plot.

**I linger in the doorway  
of alarm clock screaming monsters calling my name**

The doors burst open and two unexpected faces popped out. Ginny and Collin stood in the doorway for a minor second before running to Luna's bedside. Ginny sat down on the side of Luna's bed, grabbing her hand and stroking it. Collin ran into Madame Pomfrey's office to get her. I wanted to ask what it was all about, but I decided I would most likely get more answers if I pretended I was asleep.

Collin came back a few minutes later, Madame Pomfrey in tow. She looked tired and crestfallen as she gazed at the two friends who wanted to speak with their fallen friend. She put a hand on Ginny's shoulder and squeezed comfortingly; she smiled sadly at Collin for a moment and cast a questioning gaze at me. She looked at me for a long time before giving a slight nod and turning back to the trio. She knew I was awake, but didn't comment on it.

Ginny and Collin both nodded their appreciation at Madame Pomfrey as she left them to themselves. Instead of going back to her office Madame Pomfrey came over toward my bed where she busied herself into organizing some potions and vials that I needed to take the next day. There was a slight bump from the door to the infirmary and Madame Pomfrey jumped looking toward the door. I pretended to be slightly awoken at this and turned toward the door to see who had come in. Albus Dumbledore and Cornelius Fudge came striding in at a brisk pace.

Madam Pomfrey huffed and glared at Fudge. Her heels echoed across the silent infirmary as she waltzed over to where the pair was standing. Collin and Ginny looked up for a brief moment, shooting death glares in the new pair's direction, and went back to fussing over Luna. "Dumbledore," Madame Pomfrey whispered fiercely. "If you've come with basilisk blood, then hand it over now, if you don't have anything, I suggest you leave before I lose my patients."

Even though Madame Pomfrey had been addressing Dumbledore, it was Fudge who spoke. "Poppy, you know that I can't just hand it over to you, as much as I would like to. But, there is a new problem. We located it, but..."

**Let me stay  
where the wind will whisper to me  
where the raindrops as they're falling tell a story **

There was a dead silence as the whole room seemed to be waiting for Fudge's explanation. Fudge cleared his throat but couldn't continue, so Dumbledore finished for him. "It seems to be missing, Poppy." Madame Pomfrey gasped, placing a hand over her mouth.

"Stolen? When?"

"Just last week," Fudge said solemnly.

"This is horrible!" Madame Pomfrey said a hitch in her voice. "Absolutely horrible! What shall we do now, Dumbledore? There is no other cure!"

"We can only hope that it's soon," Dumbledore said sadly.

I kept telling myself to keep my eyes closed. I couldn't hold it much longer. I needed to make sure that these people were actually standing there. They were actually saying there was no cure, and that I would die! It wasn't as horrible as I thought. It was almost a comfort. I wouldn't have to worry about Malfoy and that stupid curse anymore. But even though I heard these things, I still wanted to make sure this wasn't a dream I was having.

With my eyes closed, I started to feel the long day I had start to take its toll on me. I was slowly drifting into a deep sleep. To this day I still blame it on that damn potion.

**In my field of paper flowers  
and candy clouds of lullaby  
I lie inside myself for hours  
and watch my purple sky fly over me**

I awoke sometime later that night. From the looks of it I would have guessed that it was early morning. The sky was turning a dull gray now instead the pitch black night. The sun would be out soon. I blinked, not believing my eyes. There were so many people just standing around in the infirmary. I saw Madame Pomfrey standing by her office door looking at face to face, not saying anything about disturbing her patients.

Harry and Ron stood between my bed and another looking around, not focusing on anything. Ginny and Collin sat on either side of Luna's bed looking like their favorite pet had just died. Dumbledore and Fudge stood by the big oak doors with two people I had never seen before.

It was a man and woman looking like that had both been rudely woken up. The man stood in his robe and pajama's, his hair messed up and his glasses on crooked. The woman had tried to fix herself up at least but failed miserably at it. Her hair was in a very messy awkward bun, her eyes bloodshot and watery, and her clothes wrinkled and crooked. The looked straight ahead for a while before they both simultaneously glanced in my direction. The gaze suddenly hardened. The man turned red and the woman started crying into a tissue.

The man took the woman by the hand. I now presumed that they were husband and wife. Glancing at their fingers I saw they wore a wedding band. People stopped their hushed whispers and looked at the couple. People moved out of their way making a clear path toward my bed.

"You!" The man yelled pointing a finger at me. "I can't believe this! How dare you even be in this room! Dumbledore! How can she be in this room? How can she live with the fact?" Dumbledore walked slowly toward my bed, standing between me and the angry couple. His eyes were tired and showed no twinkle. They almost seemed to be dead.

**Don't say I'm out of touch  
with this rampant chaos - your reality  
I know well what lies beyond my sleeping refuge  
the nightmare I built my own world to escape **

"Please, Larry, be sensible about this," he pleaded putting a hand on Larry's shoulder.

Larry shrugged Dumbledore's hand off like he had somehow been burned. "Sensible! How in the hell can I be sensible?"

"Understand that she was in a different place."

"That's my point exactly! She should have been there! Merlin, she should have been there," he sobbed repeating that I should have been somewhere. I looked around the room trying to find an explanation to this. Harry and Ron looked at me like they had never seen me before. Ginny and Collin looked like they wanted to hurt me. Only Dumbledore seemed to look at me apologetically.

The teachers looked at me in different ways. I was surprised to see Trelawney smile. I never hated her as much as I did in that moment. She probably knew something that I didn't. I hate that. Professor Sprout, one of my favorite teachers looked like I had grown another head and she wanted to chop it off for me. Professor Flitwick seemed to look like a fish out of water. His mouth kept opening and closing like he wanted to say something. My favorite teacher, Professor McGonagall's eyes had sadness flowing through them and a single tear fell down her cheek.

But what surprised me more than Trelawney smiling is that my least favorite teacher, Professor Snape, had pride beaming in his eyes as he looked at me. I opened my mouth to ask him a question and he seemed to sense this. His eyes suddenly became hard and cold as always when he put his masks up again.

Nothing was making any sense. My arm was throbbing painfully. I couldn't breathe properly. I needed a potion daily and I hadn't gotten it yet. Madame Pomfrey came over to me and handed me a vial. I gulped it down trying not to be self-conscious as everyone looked at me.

The woman had stopped crying now and looked at me, her eyes the palest blue I had ever seen. Tears threatened to fall down her cheeks again as she said the simplest words I had ever heard, "I forgive you."

Forgive me for what, I do not know. I was happy she wasn't mad at me, but I didn't know what she was mad at me for in the first place! Some people gasped. Others stood there. Her husband looked at her like she was mad.

"Mary! I cannot believe you! She's the cause of all this and now you're forgiving her! Why would you do something that stupid?" He cupped her face trying to force her to see things her way.

"Because, our baby wouldn't want us to be mad," she whispered.

Larry looked passed her for a moment his face landing on the bed across the room. There was a white cloth laying over something. I gasped and tears of realization came in my eyes.

I hadn't noticed that Harry and Ron were now at my side trying to calm me down. I felt someone squeeze my hand but I couldn't get my gaze off the bed. I knew what was under it, and I knew why it was under it.

I did it.

**Don't say I'm out of touch  
with this rampant chaos - your reality  
I know well what lies beyond my sleeping refuge  
the nightmare I built my own world to escape **

I couldn't hear anything in the room. Everyone was a blur. I felt people trying to connect with me, but I pushed them away. I slowly got out of my bed, my nightgown falling down to my ankles and flowing slightly as I walked the length of the room. I stood at the foot of the bed with the cloth. I bent down to my knees and prayed.

No one touched me. No one even dared to speak or move. If they had, I would have hurt them. I didn't care what happened to me now. Everything was closing in; I couldn't breathe in the place anymore. I got up from the ground, tears blinding my vision as I ran toward the door. McGonagal tried to reach out for me, but Snape put a hand out to stop her.

Someone whispered. The whisper echoed across the room and bounced into my eyes stabbing my heart. "She didn't know."

I left the room running toward the astronomy tower, trying to run from everything I had done.

When I reached the astronomy tower I glanced outside to the rising sun. The sky turned purple and orange. Chasing shadows from the grounds. In an instant I realized what had been said. When people had talked about the basilisk blood and the potion needed for someone to live they had not been talking about me.

They had been talking about Luna.

**The goddess of imaginary light**

**Author's Note:** Please don't hate me! You must understand that this is vital for the rest of the plot. I did not like writing it, but it had to be done. J.K. Rowling said she didn't like killing Sirius, but it had to be done. You'll see.

Thanks for the wonderful reviews! Dershana, you leave the greatest reviews. That totally made my day! May Day is just another thing for The First of May. People give baskets of candy to each other. And there's a pole thing that people dance around. We don't really celebrate it too much around where I'm from but it's still fun. I didn't go to prom cuz I'm a freshman and still too young to go. Oh well, there's plenty of time.

And to Juanita and Paula, it took me a while to find an efficient translator on the internet, but I did and thanks for the reviews!

Please Review!


	8. Listen To The Rain

**Disclaimer:** Listen, Listen, I do not own the characters! Listen, Listen, I only own the plot! Listen, Listen, do not sue! Listen, listen, I do not own the song Listen, Listen!

**Listen listen  
Listen listen  
Listen listen  
Listen listen**

I ran from the infirmary, leaving confused and worried faces in my wake. I ran as long as I could, blinded by my own tears and choking on my own grief. My throat was slowly constricting. I was losing my already impaired visibility. I needed to go somewhere and catch my breath. Somewhere I knew I wouldn't be interrupted, but where? And where was I?

I had never been in the part of the castle before. I had wound up running up and down some changing staircases and landed in an unknown corridor. It was dark, quiet and seemed disserted. Spider webs hung in every corner and dust lay like snow on the ground. The flames licked the air making their melancholy cracking laughs. It fit the mood I was in.

I opened a random door. The hinges creaked as I entered and the handle left my hand sticky from rust. The room I entered was just like the outside corridor: dark, quiet, disserted, and somewhat forbidding. It seemed to be like an old classroom. There were old desks and tables, their legs bent out of shape with time, a chalkboard with leftover remnants of previous writings, and large empty bookcases.

I sat down in one of the most stable looking desks and stared blankly in front of me. I didn't focus on anything but my thoughts as I sat for hours upon hours. The sun had risen and shone sadistically for a short time before storm clouds moved in from the east and the sky turned pitch black. Rolling thunder could be heard in the distance and the unmistakable sound of rain hitting the castle walls.

**Listen To Each Drop Of Rain**

**Listen listen**

**Whispering Secrets Of Rain**

Luna was dead. There was no candy coated way around it. She was never going to walk this earth again. I would have thought she would come back as a ghost and haunt me, but she most likely wanted to explore the unknown regions of Heaven. She was always an exploring, believing blindly in anything phenomenal.

She was an extraordinary individual. I never realized how unique she was. She stood up for what she believed, she fought for those who asked it of her, and she always believed in you, even if you yourself didn't.

Why did her life have to be wrongfully taken? She didn't deserve this! She was going to live a long life, a life full of happiness with her best friends. A life that would be full of discoveries and success. She would have made it far. Why now then did it have to end? It had barely started!

I was angry with myself. I wanted to switch places with Luna, but I wanted to trade places for selfish reasons. I wanted to be out of the pain I was in. I wanted to not have to face the fact that she had died because of me. I never wanted to look at the faces of people who pitied me for being responsible. I didn't want to see their hateful glares as I went to class.

Then a thought struck me. What if I was expelled? I hadn't been very responsible when I left her alone in the first place. A prefect shouldn't just leave students to fend for themselves in the Forbidden Forest. I would surely be expelled when someone found me. Maybe I'd even be sentenced to life in Azkaban or given the 'kiss' for my murder.

Murder. I had killed. I was a murderer.

A sound unlike anything I had ever heard rose from my mouth. It sounded like a wounded animal, but I couldn't be for sure. I'm sure it was the sound of my heart breaking knowing I had committed such a sin. I pounded my fist on the desk with as much force as I could. The desk creaked and cracked under the pressure. Bits and pieces fell onto my lap.

I picked up a piece and rubbed it slowly. It was smooth and worn with time. A name etched in the bottom of it stood out and sent chills down my spine. James Potter.

Had James sat here? Did he carve his name? Thinking of James reminded me of the curse that I was bound to and it made me even angrier and sadder.

I was sinking fast into a dark hole that I had made for myself.

**Tragically searching for someone to hear  
That story be more than it hides**

I fell onto the desk and cried while the storm raged on, only worsening as time wore on. I cried until I was too tired to cry anymore. I had little strength already and now that I had used what I had left over I felt exhausted. My muscles were sore and my head throbbed painfully.

A door squeaked open and I heard someone enter the room. I knew it was someone to take me away to Azkaban. It could be Dumbledore coming to warn me of my future. But it was neither of these.

I had been too lazy to pick up my head to see who it truly was and was thoroughly surprised to hear that familiar, cold drawling voice.

"What are you doing here?"

This can't be happening! Not now! Not ever! Gaining strength from my sudden rage I lifted my head and glared at the vile, pale haired boy standing in front of me.

"Please, just go away," I pleaded pathetically.

"But I've come to save you," he replied taking my arm in his hand and dragging me out of my seat. The room spun wildly and I tried to steady myself and ended up falling into his chest. I pushed away slightly but was too weak to do anything. Save me from the dementors that were currently hunting me down no doubt. Still I asked.

"Save me from what?"

He looked down at me for a moment before looking straight ahead with a slight smirk on his lips. "Save you from yourself of course."

I didn't need saving from myself. I wasn't stupid enough to take my own life. No matter how bad it got, I never wanted to have thoughts of hurting myself. It was selfish and regrettable. Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.

"I don't need saving, thank you!" I tried again to push away but he grabbed my arm tighter. I gasped in pain, but he didn't seem to notice.

"You listen to me Granger. If I save you from committing suicide today then my debt it paid and we can move on with our lives. Don't you want that?"

"Yes, I want that, Malfoy, but it doesn't work that way! I put myself through a lot of pain to save you. Your pain has to equal that. Don't you pay any attention to what Dumbledore says? You would go through no pain if you saved me now. It won't work."

He dropped my arm and stepped back away from me. Without his support I wavered and fell onto my knees weakly. I coughed and choked sitting there in silence waiting for Malfoy to say or do something. He just stood there looking at me. His eyes sparkled with confusion and jealousy.

**Each droplet long gone?  
Can't we stay for a while?  
It's just too hard to say goodbye  
Listen to the rain**

"Why are you here Granger?"

The question struck me funny. Why was I here? What did he mean? "What do you mean why am I here?"

"Why are you in the Slytherin part of the castle? Why would you run here, of all places?"

I hadn't known this was the Slytherin part of the castle. I had imagined it to be the old part of the castle that was used before the many additions were added. If James Potter had been here it surly had to have been somewhat old. The dust on the ground said so. Slytherins though? It fit them too; dark and mysterious, deserted and lonely.

"What happened?"

"Why do you want to know Malfoy? It's none of your business."

"I think it is. If it involves you and the other night, it surely is my business."

"Fine! If you want it to be your business, you can have it be your business! It's your fault Malfoy! If you hadn't distracted me I would have been there to protect her! I could have saved her from dieing. I could have stopped all this pain from happening!"

Malfoy sat down in a desk as I started to cry. I leaned against a desk for support as my tears that I thought I had run out of, started flowing again. I was all ready regretting my words of anger toward Malfoy.

**Weeping**

After moments of silence, save from my crying, Malfoy stood up and paced the room. Dust clouds gathered at his feet as he pivoted to change directions. I'm sure he had been trained to fight with a sword because his feet seemed to float across the room, barely making any noise. I had studied the sport before and Malfoy fit the qualities.

After his continuous pacing I grew aggravated. For some reason I was annoyed at the silence. I was angry with him for being there. I would be angry if he said something, but I wanted him to say anything to break the cold silence.

"What are you doing?" I snapped breaking the tension. He glanced at me as if he had forgotten I was lying on the ground unable to move myself.

"I'm thinking."

I growled in anger. "About what?"

He hesitated for a moment studying me closely before speaking in a soft whisper. "I'm thinking about everything that's happened in the last six months. First there was summer vacation, and then there was the train ride, the forbidden forest incident, and now this."

My spine stiffened at these words. He was going to start talking freely. He was going to purposely make me talk. I knew that I didn't have the strength to argue at the moment and he must have also known this. Damn him.

"Listen Malfoy--"

"When are you going to tell them?" He interrupted. He stopped pacing and stood stalk sill waiting my answer. I couldn't just ignore him. That would prove to be childish and impossible.

"Tell who what?" I pretended to not know what he was talking about. I knew and he knew that we both knew perfectly well what the other was talking about.

"Don't play dumb. When are you going to tell Potter and Weasley about what happened in July? When are you going to tell Potter about his birthday present?" The way he spit out the bit about Harry's birthday present made me shiver. Nothing but cold malice came from his tone and it frightened me. I suddenly wanted to be near Harry and Ron. I needed their comfort.

"Please Malfoy, not now," I pleaded as another batch of tears formed in the corner of my eyes.

"Then when? When are you going to accept what happened? Don't you think you should move on?" He sat down on the ground a few feet away from me. I looked at him and he stared right back waiting for an answer.

I didn't say anything. I was trying to gather my thoughts to come up with something clever to say but I couldn't think of any words at all. Malfoy was angered by this and shouted at me.

"They're dead! They aren't coming back!"

**I stand alone in the storm **

**Listen listen  
Suddenly sweet I say no**

**Couldn't they stay for you haven't much time?**

That's all I could take. I had had it with his stupid ways. I was fed up with him sticking his nose in my business. I lunged forward with a sudden burst of strength and knocked him over. I was on top of him trying desperately to do any damage I could. With new found strength I kicked and punched as hard as I could.

Malfoy as thoroughly surprised at my sudden attack. He lay there for a moment without doing anything to stop me. After about the third punch he snapped back to his senses and started to try and push me off. I stayed where I was and attacked even more wanting him to feel the pain I was in at the moment. Malfoy found that I was not going to give up anytime soon and did what I didn't expect him to do.

Instead of pushing me off or simply grabbing my arms to stop me from hitting him, he pulled me closer to him. It was almost as if we were hugging. He must have known that I would not be expecting this because immediately I stopped attacking him and settled down confused by the sudden gentleness.

I hadn't known that I had started crying again. As I lay there in Malfoy's embrace I felt the hot tears run down my face and saw the splashes of my tears land on his chest. He didn't care though. He picked me up as if I was a rag doll and carried me out of the room into the corridor.

He carried me to a place that I didn't know. This time it was a room with a couch in it. There was a roaring fire in the corner and the bookcases were full of books that looked inviting. It was cozy.

Malfoy set me on the couch and waved his wand conjuring a blanket for me. He wrapped the blanket tenderly around me and stood looking down at me. He reached down and softly moved a piece of my hair out of my face, his fingers brushing against my forehead for the slightest of moments.

**Open your eyes to the love around you**

My forehead pounded at his touch. My head grew hot and my breath caught in my throat. I must be sick.

"I'm sorry, Hermione," he said before quickly leaving the room.

**You can feel you're alone  
But I'm here still with you  
You can do what you dream  
Just remember to listen to the rain  
**

I quickly fell into a long awaited sleep, haunted by dreams of a silver haired boy, and haunted by what would happen to my future.

**  
Listen**

**Author's Note:** Alright, another chapter up before my deadline! YaY! Anyway, please review. I enjoyed the review from vicangel so thanks!


	9. Paint It Black

**Disclaimer:** I see my future and I see it painted black. It's black if you sue me for taking her charac (ters).

Ok that is the lamest thing I've ever written in my life…and that's saying a lot. But if you sing it like…Care-ack and then add ters in a whisper it sounds cool :)

A warm light was being shone directly into my eyes. I still had my eyes shut and was trying desperately to hang onto the last bit of sleep I had, but it was a losing battle. I gave up after another minute of the bright light torture and opened my eyes. Memories of the past nights occurrences came flooding back to me as I looked around the room.

I got a sudden head rush as I sat up. I felt my head lightly with my hand to check if I had a temperature. None. I felt like I was burned though. There was a mark of my forehead that seemed to feel different. I brushed this thought aside as I started looking around the room more observantly than I did the night before.

The fire had died down some, but still shone brightly. There was a large full window covering the entire north wall. The sun poked out behind dark clouds as day broke onto the castle. Long green curtains were pulled back elegantly at the corner of the window. I went to the curtains and felt their fine material. It felt like water woven together. I pulled lightly on the golden sting holding the curtains back. The curtains flowed down gracefully and blocked the sun from shining in. The curtains were not solely green as I had initially thought they were, but instead they were green with a silver symbol embroidered into the center of it.

The symbol of Slytherin house.

My mind was reeling. I had known I was in the Slytherin part of the castle, but I had not known that I was in the Slytherin common room! But it couldn't possibly be in the Slytherin common room. No one was around and there were no staircases leading to the dormitories. I quickly understood that I was in common rooms, but I was in the Slytherin _prefect _common rooms, an even more dangerous situation than being in the Slytherin common rooms.

**I see a red door and I want it painted black  
No colours anymore, I want them to turn black**

Even though my brain was telling me to get out of here as quick as I could, my heart wanted desperately to at least look at the books they had. Surely it would have been a shame to come here and not read a single chapter of a book. So against my better judgment I started meandering around the room looking for something mildly interesting.

I found something almost right away. _The Laws of the Wizarding World: A complete Guide _by _Liza Picket_. I quickly flipped to the index page and searched down the G's for the Goshawk Curse. Finding it on page 325 I quickly flipped there and skim and scanned my way down until I found a brief paragraph on the curse:

_One of the lesser heard of laws of the Wizarding World is the Goshawk Law. This law is widely called the Goshawk Curse and the rare Goshawk Blessing. The law states that when a wizard saves another wizard's life, the wizard's life that was saved is in debt until they repay the favor for the other wizard. On average there are about three cases of the Goshawk Law every two hundred years. It is unknown as to what will happen if a person does not repay the favor._

I re-read the information over three times before looking up from the book slowly. That was it? That's all the information a book of _laws _had on the curse? How could that be? There really was no way out of this!

A noise startled me out of my stupor and I spun around. Malfoy stood in the middle of the room, his arms crossed over his chest glaring at me slightly.

"Did you think I didn't check that already?" He asked acidly advancing on me rapidly.

I backed up slowly. I felt my back press against the book case and knew my only way to get out of this uncomfortable predicament would be to slide toward the door. But where was the door? I didn't see one. Malfoy chuckled at my confused expression.

"It wouldn't be lit up with a sign, Granger. The door is hidden. Isn't your prefect common room door hidden from everyone also?"

I mentally slapped myself on the head for being so stupid. Of course our common room had a hidden door. Ours was a painting of a lion. I scanned the room for paintings of snakes but found none. Where was it?

Malfoy raised his eyebrows in expectation. "I thought you would have found it by now, Sherlock."

"Are you reading muggle books, Malfoy?" I was shocked. How would he have known Sherlock Holms? Sherlock was no wizard. If he had been he would have been a very highly respected one.

Malfoy snorted indignantly. "I read the classics, Granger. Literature is literature. No matter what the race."

"But Sherlock Holms was a muggle!"

"And Albus Dumbledore is a twit. Just because Dumbledore is a wizard doesn't mean he's better at writing than others."

"But—but—you," I stammered trying to make sense of this. Malfoy reading muggle literature? Him sticking up for a muggle book?

"I see you passed grammar school. Way to put together a sentence."

"You are such a git, Draco Malfoy," I spat sliding slowly so I wouldn't be up against the bookcase any more. Malfoy seemed to have predicted this and placed a hand beside my head, blocking me from sliding anymore. I tried sliding the other way but his other hand was blocking that direction too. I was caged in.

Malfoy smirked and narrowed his eyes at me. "There's no backing out of this now, Granger."

My heart started pounding very fast and very hard. I was finding it harder to breathe with each second that ticked by ever so slowly. I felt like a race horse with a broken leg; about to be shot to end its misery. Except, now I was going to be shot and put into misery.

"So," he said slowly, his smirk growing wider.

"Let me out," I said through clenched teeth.

"I think we should have a little talk first."

I closed my eyes not wanting to see his face. I could hear him smirking, the evil little git! "Please, Malfoy, I don't want to talk."

"Oh, but I don't care. I want you to, so you will. I have my ways of making you talk."

My eyes snapped back open. I was surprised to see Malfoy's face only inches away from mine. His breath was coming out hot on my cheek. I glared at his pale face. "What is that suppose to mean?"

"It means," He drawled, "That if you don't talk to me now, I'll tell the weasel and Potter about what happened to you and your family over vacation."

I sucked in breath, feeling my world come crashing down around me. This can't be happening right now! "You wouldn't." I said trying to reassure myself that he indeed wouldn't.

"Try me."

I looked at my options. One: Refuse to tell Malfoy anything and have him tell Harry and Ron. Two: Hex Malfoy out of this universe and never have to worry about seeing his horrible face again. Three: Tell Malfoy everything. Four: Spontaneously faint and hope he'll take me to the hospital wing. Then I can fake a coma for the rest of my life and never have to tell anyone anything.

I quickly ruled out refusing to tell Malfoy anything. Sooner or later Harry and Ron would have to know, and I would prefer they heard the facts from me than from someone else. I then remembered that I had no idea where my wand was anyway. So there went the possibility of hexing him out of the universe. I didn't want to do option number three. Option four seemed like my best bet. But I knew that Madam Pomfrey would probably figure out after about two seconds that I was in fact _not _in a coma and dismiss me back to my dormitories where I would have to tell Harry and Ron. I growled in frustration realizing that option number three was my only way out of this situation.

"So then Granger, what will it be?" Malfoy asked sounding innocent. "Are you going to tell me now, or are you going to let me tell your friends for you?"

"What do you want to know, Malfoy?" I asked in a defeated tone feeling increasingly angry with myself.

Malfoy smirked widely, his eyes glittering with amusement. He backed away slowly and sat haughtily on a chair, leaning luxuriously back enjoying every moment of my discomfort. He gestured toward the couch I had slept on and I sat down on it stiffly. After a moment of glaring at him he interrupted the silence.

"I think the beginning is a great place to start."

"Malfoy," I started.

"Ah ah ah," Malfoy said wagging a finger at me. "I believe this is your own doing. You could have just hexed me. But no, you chose to tell me. So I suggest you get on with it Granger before I grow impatient."

I felt my face get hot as I stared at him. He was the biggest prat on earth! Right then I hated him more than I ever had in my entire life. I wanted nothing more than to wipe the annoying little smirk on his face off. I didn't even have a wand to hex him anyway!

"You get three questions, Malfoy."

"Question one: What happened with the whole Luna incident?"

I was surprised that no tears came rushing to my eyes as he said her name. I was at a stage of numbness. I had felt this stage many times in the past few months. I hated the feeling of drowning in tar.

"She's dead," I replied bluntly.

"I knew that!" Malfoy said irritably. "But why is she dead?"

Anger rose in me. Why is she dead? She's dead because you distracted me! "What do you mean 'why is she dead?'? Don't you understand? Her heart has stopped beating! Her brain activity has stopped! _Bloody Hell, Malfoy! **She was killed!**_"

"How was she killed?" Malfoy asked calmly as if I had not just been yelling at him.

"She was attacked by something! I don't know what…something that needs basilisk blood to cure it. The point is that you were busy tormenting me and Luna was busy being attacked by a horrible animal and now she's dead!"

The color drained from Malfoy's face. "Don't you try and pin this on me! If you had given those Potter Praisers detention in the first place they would have all gone to writing lines with Ms. Perfect prefect Hermione Granger. But no! Instead you have to wait around for me to come and take charge of the situation properly! Don't you go pointing your dirty little mudblood fingers at me!"

"QUESTION TWO! NOW!" I screamed wanting to get off this topic before I started physically beating the evil Draco Malfoy to a pulp.

"FINE!" Malfoy shouted back, his face tinted pink from yelling. He took several deep breaths before asking in a nonchalant tone. "Does anyone know?"

I knew what he was talking about even though the question had been very vague. "Mr. and Mrs. Weasley, Dumbledore, and you are the only people I know of."

Malfoy looked rather pensive. "If the Weasley's know wouldn't they tell their kids?"

"Is that question three?" I asked in a sugar voice. Malfoy glared at me.

"Fine, never mind that. Question three: Been to St. Mungo's lately?"

I shot from my chair like it had been on fire. I was over at Malfoy faster than I could have tried to do. Before he or I knew what had happened I had slapped him as hard as I could across the face. He held his cheek lightly. I could see that his face was already turning a bright red with the print of a hand clearly noticeable on it.

"Touchy," Malfoy whispered grabbing my wrist and twisting it painfully. I could no longer reach out to slap him. He twisted my arm around my back so that I was at an odd angle. If I moved an inch I would surely break my arm. Or at least I would sprain something. I cried out in pain, but Malfoy didn't seem to notice or care. He stood up now placing his head right next to my ear. He brushed my hair out of the way and whispered quietly into my ear. "Tell me, how is your mother doing?"

I didn't answer. I started straight ahead starting to feel the drowning feeling again. Malfoy tugged on my arm forcefully and I gasped as pain shot up and down my arm. "Malfoy, you are the biggest prat on the earth! You deserve to rot in Azkaban!"

"Well, Ms. Granger I've really enjoyed this little chat of ours. I've learned what I had to. I think it's time that you leave."

He started dragging me toward the window. My eyes widened in fear. He couldn't possibly be doing what I thought he was! He pushed me away and opened the drapes, pulling them back with the string. He then reached forward as if to open the window that was clearly large enough to fit my body out of it. I knew it was the end. He was going to throw me out the window.

Malfoy grabbed me by the wrist and shoved me out.

It wasn't as I thought it would be. I thought I would fall for a minute or two screaming all the way until I fell to the ground in a heap that would be unrecognizable. Doctors would run DNA samples and find that indeed I was Hermione Granger, but they would never know who had killed me. Maybe it was suicide?

Instead I felt solid ground pound up to my feet. I stumbled forward onto the stone floor turning sharply to see Malfoy's head poking out of what looked to be ordinary wall.

"Really, Granger, I thought you would know that the Slytherin part of the castle is in the _dungeons. _We couldn't possibly have a full window! Besides that, this is a school of magic!"

Before I could say something just as nasty back to him he had closed the 'window' slash 'wall' and a solid wall was now there. I pounded on it but knew it was useless without a password. Damn him to hell!

**No more will my green sea go turn a deeper blue  
I could not forsee this thing happening to you**

Standing up I brushed my robes off, trying to get rid of the dust that the dungeons had layered all over them. It was a losing battle after all and I gave up. I started twisting and turning my way through the halls desperately looking for the Great Hall. I couldn't find it anywhere! I wasn't familiar with the dungeons.

After about ten minutes of wandering I saw some people. Granted they were Slytherins, but they were still people. At least I wasn't lost with no sign of civilization. The Slytherins glared at me as I passed. I glared right back. Some people gave me queer looks and I then realized that I was a little dirtier than I had thought I was.

I was also still in my hospital gown. It was covered in dust and dirt and my hair was bigger than ever and messed up from sleeping on it. I felt my face grow hotter every time someone would look at me. Finally I reached the Great Hall.

It wasn't like I had expected it to be. Usually the Great Hall is filled with color and was joyful. Today is was black and mournful. I knew why it was like this right away. I suppose it isn't everyday a person is killed at Hogwarts.

I started running trying to get away from the blackness. People zoomed by as I ran. I saw them form tighter groups as I went by, afraid I would do something to them no doubt. I knew then how Harry felt everyday of his life. People had no consideration of another person's feelings!

**I see people turn their heads and quickly look away  
Like a newborn baby it just happens ev'ryday**

I ran faster. I was originally going to go back to the hospital wing where I knew I would be left alone for the most part and only have to worry about Madame Pomfrey and other injured people bothering me. I decided I didn't want to go to the infirmary, but I wanted to see Harry and Ron and have them both talk to me and calm me down. I needed their support.

I guessed that they would be in the Gryffindor common room and headed that direction. After running by some more groups of frightened people I reached the fat lady portrait, huffed out the password, and stumbled into the common room. It was empty. Or so I thought. I saw after a moment that Ginny was sitting in the window sill, gazing outside silently. Her fingers traced little circles on the glass and she hummed lightly to herself. Cautiously I walked over to her. She didn't notice me right away. After I cleared my throat she whipped her head around and glared at me.

"What?"

"Ginny, listen…" I had no idea what to say to her. I couldn't say I was going through the same thing she was because I wasn't. She wasn't going through the guilt that I was, and I had only lost a friend, not a best friend. I felt my throat constrict as I tried to get the right words out. "Things happen that no one wants to but…no, that's not right. Um…this is just a horrible thing that happened. No, that sounds horrible. What I mean to say is…"

Ginny sat there looking at me the whole time. Her eyes narrowed for a moment then they would open up again. She seemed to be analyzing everything I said. I felt nervous every time her nose would crinkle.

"I'm sorry, Ginny."

It was a simple statement, filled with heartfelt meaning. It seemed to work though. Ginny stopped glaring at me and looked blankly ahead. After a moment she blinked and half smiled at me. "I don't blame you, 'Mione."

"Why? You have every reason to," I argued. She may not blame me, but I sure did.

"Because no matter what way you put this it isn't your fault. If you had been there, who's to say that you could have protected her? Perhaps you would have died protecting her, and she would have died soon after. Maybe she would have died and you would have lived. There's no sure way of knowing. This is just how it worked out. I hate to sound cliché but it was her time to go. Luna wouldn't want you blaming yourself, and she sure as hell wouldn't want anyone else blaming you. She's always wondered what it's like to see the beyond, and now she gets to. Now that Luna is in heaven she can visit her mom and have that long awaited conversation she's been craving to do. I don't blame you, and you shouldn't blame yourself either."

I was stunned by her speech. I felt a warm rush of love toward the girl that could have easily been called my sister. I flung myself at her, pulling her into a tight hug. She was startled for a moment and then hugged tightly back. She started crying softly into my shoulder and I held her tighter. Poor Ginny, she had gone through so much in her life.

"Thank you, Gin. You really are a good friend," I whispered in her ear. She sniffed and pulled me at arms length away.

"Harry and Ron are at the quidittch pitch," she said wiping her eyes with her sleeve. "I'm sure you were looking for them."

"Are you sure you're gonna be ok? Because I can stay with you if you want."

Ginny laughed slightly. "I'm not the one that needs the help right now. You go."

I lent forward and kissed Ginny slightly on the cheek. "I'm sure if I ever had a sister, I would want her to be exactly like you."

Before she could say anything I had turned and left the common room, running toward the quidittch pitch. Once I was outside, I stopped running and walked slowly. The weather outside was wonderful. I learned then that no matter what happens, life will always go on and there are still many beautiful things in this world. The sun shone brightly casting shadows to form from the Forbidden Forest. Birds chirped their merry tune as they flew. The giant squid reached his many tentacles above the surface of the lake, enjoying the sun.

**If I look hard enough into the setting sun  
My love will laugh with me before the morning comes**

Soon I had reached the pitch. I didn't know the password to go into the dressing rooms (and wasn't quite sure if I _wanted_ to go in there) so I sat down in the stands instead. There was no need for me to go into the dressing rooms though because Ron and Harry were out flying. They zoomed over head, dangerously diving and swirling to catch the quaffle they were throwing to each other. I watched them for some time before Ron did a particularly dangerous dive and I couldn't help but shout at him to be careful. They noticed that I was there then and flew immediately over to me.

"Hermione, what are you doing here? You should be in bed! Where were you? We were really worried! We're sorry we didn't tell you anything! Are you feeling ok? Can I get you something? Do you need a jacket? Some water? Some medicine?" Harry asked a string of questions, barely taking time to breathe. Ron stood next to him and looked puzzled.

"Why are you still in your hospital gown?"

I laughed. Harry stopped asking questions about my health and looked at Ron. Ron blushed and matched his hair.

"I'm in my hospital gown because I just woke up. I was in the Slytherin Prefect Common Rooms--"

"WHAT?" Harry and Ron exploded. They were now taking shallow ragged breaths. I flinched. I should have known they wouldn't react to that so easily. Even I had been weirded out by it.

"No, it's ok! Nothing happened. Malfoy just was being a prat again and I left," I tried to explain.

"Malfoy was there? Did he do anything to you?" Ron asked looking at me seriously. I felt my face grow hot.

"Do you really think he would do anything to a mudblood, Ron?" Ron flinched.

"Hermione, you shouldn't be so harsh on yourself," Harry said softly.

I knew his statement had more than one meaning. I smiled at him. "Thanks." I felt tears welling up in my eyes again. Ron and Harry were really just the best people on the planet. Harry reached out and brushed away a tear. Ron grabbed my hand and squeezed it gently.

There was a silent agreement between us that day. We would never talk about Luna. Not the way about who's to blame. We would remember her from time to time, but we would never make it awkward for anyone. If she came up in a conversation, we would usually tell our favorite story about her and move on to another topic before it became sad again. We wanted to keep the memories of her good, not the memory of her death.

That day I grew up more. I realized many things. Death happens, and there is nothing you can do about it, no matter what you want. And even though death happens, there are still so many things to learn in the world. Life will go on, no matter how much it seems like it won't. You just have to believe in yourself and those around you.

Walking back to the castle that day with Ron and Harry on either side of me I didn't care what happened to me. People would form closer groups as we passed and people would whisper furiously to each other at dinner. The only thing I could do to them is smile, and pretend like nothing happened.

But I also learned that day that pretending does not solve any problems.

* * *

**Author's Note:** Wow, I'm so sorry for the very long delay in updating. I was going to have a chapter up before camp but like I said, the people wanted to rip the carpet out of my room early. So I moved my computer out and let it sit in the living room for a week. Then I got home from camp and they were now redoing the study where the computer was being moved to. So I could not access it there either. Sorry for that. But I hope this really long chapter makes up for it.

Thanks to everyone who reviewed. I really love reading the feedback from everyone. It makes me feel so accomplished.

Well Dershana I haven't been up to much lately. Just working and going to camps and stuff. But I like it that way. Summer if my favorite time. Except this year it is SO humid here. It's so unfun. Oh well, what can ya do? Wow, for mother's day I gave my mom a basket too. It's one of her favorite brands and it's got lots of fun removable patters to go on it to match the season. I hope you had fun at your prom.

Wind Rider 12 you will find out soon what happened during her summer. I'm not sure how to write it, but I'm working on it. You're on the right track kinda…

Thanks for everything everyone!


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